Dear Sanna - Confidence

It's such a funny thing, what can affect my level of confidence. I felt great this week. Much more relaxed, excited but under control. It was like the first performance was the equivalent of those nerves I always feel right before I go on stage, and then once I'm out there the feeling disappears. Each show after the first I became more and more relaxed. The director was happy after each show, always saying it was better than the day before. Every day I was told that I don't use the corrections I am given (which are not THAT specific or clear might I add, like "attack it more!" or "use your head!"), but I think this is partially the director's way of keeping a running communication with me. Sometimes I know that I followed corrections (like be more stage left) and I still get the same correction the next day, even when I know I OVERcorrected the problem. So I think this is just the director's way of communication and it's okay.

A stage worker actually told me the other day (excuse the language, but this is a direct quote) "F*****' A", which I must say is probably one of the best compliments I ever got. It was after dancing in the new part I'm always talking/stressing about. In this specific section, I dance with a partner and another couple, the other girl being the prima ballerina of the company. It is amazing that somebody could compliment me on this part, dancing next to such a mature, beautiful dancer who I admire so much.

And lately this week, it's as if people know about my confidence problem and are trying to help me, because I just keep hearing more and more nice little things that brighten my day. I can't exactly describe it, but just these stupid little compliments or even a smile from somebody can completely lift my mood.

Here's hoping to more great weeks like this :) Happy Halloween!

Janie

DanceMind:DEAR JANIE:Body Image

We must love our bodies.

Beauty, shape and size tend to be associated with external factors, success as, lead parts, fitting into a certain costume that someone very thin wore, or how much money we make, or the friends we have.  You MUST REALIZE that pitting yourself against those factors WHiCH ARE TEMPORARY create us to lose our ground as they pass. You will always search for something to define yourself, to compare yourself to, align with outside of yourself. 

Have you noticed that you will never measure up and sometimes you feel good and then your lose your reference point?  External references keep you sad, depressed and confused about your true value and worth.  If  YOU BELIEVE you are wrinkly, thick thighed or thin lipped then your definition of yourself focuses on a physical attribute and eliminates the qualities you have.

Notice the inner dialogue you have about your body? How much does it define how you feel? Alone? or socially (walking across the studio?) 

Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt

DanceMom

Therapist

Performance Coach

WATCH THIS VIDEO TO SEE HOW WE ARE DUPED.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcFlxSlOKNI

Sorry - I forgot to LINK it.

Ask yourself - What is real?

Sanna 

DanceMom

Therapist

Performance Coach

P.S.   I put the Rest in your Sleep.   Stepping to Sleep for dancers. Recommended by Dance Mag.

FIND YOUR BEAUTY

It is up to your to shine your light from the inside out. I know it is quirky, but true.

Dance is tough on mind and body. Dealing with negative critical people is one aspect of performance. Some people will NEVER like your performance style, your body shape, your hair color .... and on and on. The more you step into the spot light the bigger your imperfections become (look at some of todays stars, family members, friends, politicians, other human beings). Mostly because what we look at daily is an illusion created by a computer. 

Ever heard of a Troll. They are critics. They seek to demean and criticize AND GAIN PLEASURE FROM IT. 

A. critics will always be criticizing 
B. They rarely are creative other than with their words and comments
C. You must ignore them, otherwise YOUR INNER voice echoes them.'

Are you a troll of yourself?

Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt

DanceMom. Therapist. Performance Coach.

http://www.mentalperformances.com

Dance Mind

I need help. I have a dynamic woman I am going to set an audio interview with for dancers. She talks about these issues of body love and hate. WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD TIME?
9:00 PM? 8:30PM ? You can listen in and it will also be recorded.

I am working on this for you all so you can heal this part of you that does not live fully in your body, within yourself. ANY negativity drains your life force and creativity. No matter who says what or who does anything, you are and must be in control of what you believe about yourself.

Back to you ... Email me directly if you want to talk on the program about dancers and body image.
sanna@mentalperformances.com. I will also be asking for YOUR QUESTIONS>

Dear Sanna - Not nervous, excited!

How could I forget the lessons I learned last year? These knots in my stomach I've been feeling all week are exactly the excitement I was asking for. I hate performing without feeling, so I need to regard this not negatively as "nervous", but in a positive way as excitement. I am happy and ready for a chance to dance on stage and really perform. It will be fun! No matter what happens, I am getting to do what I love on stage.

The more I enjoy every moment, the more it shows in my dancing, and the less I sabotage myself by over-thinking the steps.

As for loving myself unconditionally, I understand that this would improve my dancing, and I wish I could just turn on or off self-confidence. But that's what makes it so hard. I can't just say I love myself unconditionally and make it happen. Maybe I will learn to, but in the mean time I am just trying to focus on the positive.

Also, I think a funny exercise I made up for myself is helping. If I feel self-conscious or see somebody watching me, I focus completely on them, instead of trying to ignore it. Almost just like the nerves, I try to use their once distracting looks as support while I dance. If I just stare back, I can dance through it. If I try to pretend I don't see them, I lose my focus.

Interesting how many things go through my mind while I dance.

Janie

DanceMind:DEAR JANIE:Body Image

Question: What if I told you that if you loved yourself unconditionally your dancing would improve? What would you respond?

Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt

Dance Mom

Therapist

Performance Coach

Dear Janie:

Hi there, This is a good topic to process through. I am in a training until tomorrow. I will sign on Monday and teach you about confidence!

Much love to you all!
Sanna

Dear Sanna - so self-conscious!

I think I am generally an under-confident person, but sometimes it gets really bad. Today we were rehearsing the ballet I stepped into this year to replace the principle who left. My solo is very slow and there is a lot of music for me to fill with not so many steps. Also, I was never really properly taught the part, so it's even harder because I don't really know exactly how each movement should be. I feel really embarrassed every time I do this solo, even if the rest of the ballet is getting better.

Today after I did the solo the artistic director pulled me over and told me I look like a shy, embarrassed girl and I have no confidence (only because it's true). The thing is, I hear corrections like this all the time, but if I could just change it I would, so this correction in itself is not all that helpful. If I knew how to dance with even a fake air of confidence, of course I would. Anyway today for the first time, the director did not just stop at this criticism, but instead had me show her what I do, and gave me specific things to change and work on. I think it helped a lot, but still in the end she had me go back and do it again, and this time I was sure everyone was watching, so I felt even more embarrassed. I am trying to use my imagination to get over it, but I just feel the eyes on me.

When will I feel comfortable in my own skin? At times I can't even cross the room without feeling the eyes watching me.

Janie

Janie

Looking for a MALE dancer to interview

for an upcoming article on topic of managing the holidays. Please contact me sanna@mentalperformances.com

Sanna Carapellotti, MS, CHt

Dance Mom

Therapist

Performance Coach

DanceMind:DEAR JANIE

In our meetings with people who are in our lives every day, we do not always know what offerings they have for us. We judge and sneer at what we observer because we believe we know them, although what we see and observe is a short time period out of their lives. 

Class clown was helpful and kind and observant. Although his behaviors are not to your liking and his interactions may be immature and intrusive,  he may be your partner in the future or he may do something thoughtful as he did or it is revealed why he behaves as he does.

Especially in a company setting, where contact is up close and very physical, you want to be as flexible of someone else's behavior as you can.  LOOK for the nice things he does. Otherwise you will always SEE the annoyances and they become WHAT YOU LOOK FOR. We then do not see anything else. Shift the focus to WHAT else he does in and out of class. Annoyances - and goodness knows we all have those!

Sanna Carapellotti
Dance Mom
Therapist
Performance Coach

Ps - Visit - Mentalperformances.com

Dear Sanna - that other thing...

I'm not sure exactly what that other thing you have in mind is, but maybe it has something to do with having the patients and wisdom that I will heal and recover from injuries? It is easy to freak out and get caught up in an injury. It feels like your body will never be the same. But with time and rest and a little care, things do heal and improve. I appreciate the help of my coworkers and the massage therapist, and together with my own actions I think the injury improved. It just goes to show how very important it is to take care of your body.