Dear Sanna - home, erm, second-home sweet home

Just got back and it was amazing. I saw places more beautiful than I could have ever imagined existed. I felt like I was in a fairytale - it was really magical. And the hotels were by far the nicest I've ever stayed in, each meal more extravagant than the last with unlimited wine and tours of every amazing place booked us solid for the last few weeks. So I have to say I am happy it's over and thrilled to be going back to work tomorrow, even if it will be tough performing my first day back!

Actually the amazing hotels all had gorgeous gyms, often with a view, hardwood floors, mirrors, and a barre, so I happily gave myself a barre, mini center, and rehearsals about 2/3 of the days I was gone, so I don't feel too too out of shape. We did walk a lot, too, but the amount of food was incredible. I'm not sure how much it affected me, however, because after a while I just didn't want anymore. Enough is enough! I think it will be a long time before I want to even think about food from this country again.

I also used down time traveling or insomnia to mentally rehearse, which I think has also prepared me for tomorrow. I have done this show many many times, and I am not even doing the most challenging parts tomorrow (the ballet master kindly gave me a break, understanding this will not be an easy show for me).

So I think I have prepared to the best of my ability - the only thing left to do is get a good night's rest and go for it tomorrow! Wish me luck

Janie

Keep in shape mind and body -

Yes, you are planning for a brief departure quite nicely and I must say with confidence.

You have the opportunity to go into a trance state everyday while traveling and rehearse your pieces. Remember that this is not thinking them through, but watching them in motion in full sensory expression. As if you are watching a movie. This is just as important as your physical practice.

Without a doubt you will stretch, work out and walk perhaps while vacationing? You are in such good shape, you want to go and have fun with out this worry. It may take you a few days to get your stamina back, yet it is not all or nothing. You just returned quite beautifully from a longer break.

STOP. Enjoy life and take a breather.
Write and tell us where you are? Maybe you can take in a ballet?

Love you all,

Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt

Dear Sanna - Cool

So the way things have been going, it appears that I might actually go back into the soloist role I am missing out on while I'm away. But if not, I will definitely go back to do my normal part and I would be fine with that. I am also less nervous that there will be no parts for me when I come back. There seems to be a need for me, and I am just really not stressed out about it.

I rehearse everything in the back full out, and the other day when I was doing the variation the director even gave me corrections and said it was good. More than anything, I am just afraid in the two weeks I am gone I will get out of shape and it will be hard to get back into it, but I will pass that, too.

So basically I am just working really hard for myself and looking forward to my trip - next week already! Hopefully everything doesn't change while I'm gone, but once it's over I have a feeling people will quickly forget about it. I will remember this trip forever, though :)

Janie

Dear Sanna - Back! (for a bit)

I can't believe we won an award! Thanks to the readers for contributing to the success of this blog! Yay go us :)

Sorry for the long break, by the way. Not only did I just recently get back to work, I was also having internet issues up until now. It has been a very busy week so far, trying to get back into shape, remembering everything, taking in all the new. It is going to be an exciting year - I am thrilled to see many new dancers in the company, all eager to work. I think it will be a good boost for the work ethic and morale of the whole group.

Unfortunately, there is a slight hiccup in the beginning of my year. You might remember the trip I spoke of in July? Well it is coming up fast. On the first day back at work, we had rehearsal for a part we did all last year. I was the understudy for a main role, which I did perform a few times. That girl left the company, so I was cast in that role. Then I heard that the first performance is the day after I return. So I had to go to the ballet mistress and explain, asking if the director hadn't told her anything. So for the time being I am just doing a few of my corps spots in that ballet. I hope I will go back into the part when I return, but I don't know. Then I had to be replaced in the first new thing we are working on, because there is also a performance of that while I'm away.

It doesn't necessarily mean anything. It could be bad, and when I return I will continue doing nothing until there is a new ballet to cast. It could be great - I could continue to not do corps roles and end up performing mainly soloist parts. It could be a moot point and I will go back to my usual spots when I get back. Who knows? The director is of course not thrilled that I am leaving, but isn't being too too horrible towards me. I can just work hard and hope for the best.

Janie

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A common response it to reach for food or sugar drinks to silence it. For relief. This cretaes problems in the system and takes you away from your power.

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Sanna Carapellotti

Janie??!?!?

Janie was on break for the month of August. I thought she should rest, enjoy her family and take a breather.
I hope you had some good fun. I have a surprise for the readers. I will post it this coming week!

Janie, well look forward to YOU when you settle in!

Love you all!
Sanna Carapellotti, MS Cht

Stepping to SLeep, better sleep for dancers available on line! Recommended by Dance Magazine. You sleep and perform better!
http://www.mentalperformances.com/?section=dancers-sleep

From a Reader

This comment brought a blessed tear to my eye. I am thrilled that we have been able to help our readers and that you, A, are dancing with the company of your dreams. I have read your comments since the beginning, A, and have often wondered about you.Yes, the road ahead is a long one, yet you have discovered that there are ways to handle the stress so you stay empwoered and focused. Good for you. I wish you all the best. If you contact me directly on my email, I have a gift for you.
sanna@mentalperformances.com.

Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt

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Dear Janie and Sanna,

3 years, 3 cities, and 4 studios ago I heard of this blog through another girl on POINTE magazine message boards. I instantly became facinated and realated to Janie's stories and problems, and have kept up wiht this blog almost religiously since. Knowing that there was someone else who had gone and was going through the same problems and was succeeding was so insprational to me! Advice that was given on how to handle situations was filed away in my brain and I have been able to use it on several occasions since I've started following this blog.

As of last monday I am now an apprentice in the company of my dreams. I know there is much struggle that lies ahead still but I don't think it can be ahlf as bad as it would ahve been ahd I not learned so much from this blog.

Thank you so much for all your inspration and advice because I trul don't think I would ahve been sane enough to get to where I am without it!

I fully intend to continue to follow the blog! Thank you so much!

~A

Janie, We Won A Top Blog AWARD!

Is this cool or what! I am excited that you and I are being recognized for our work. It has been nearly three years since we began blogging together. I have learned a lot and am very proud to be helpful. You and all of our readers deserve a round of applause!

Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
MentalPerformances.com

Your Expression -

Hello Janie,
I can appreciate your frustration and question. I have worked with many performers with self-expression. Believ eit or not even football players can "BE SOMEONE ELSE." Let me explain.

We all perform daily. When I put my work clothes on I am a different person helping people to strengthen and heal. When I am dressed to the nines, I behave in a different way.

Athletes can 'perform' with the added power of assuming the power of an animal. For example, one lineman said he felt like a lion. So we set up a method for him to be fast, explosive and powerful acting as if he is a lion. His perfomrance improved significantly. He serves as the vehicle ... powered by a deliberate mind.

In dance, every piece has an interpretation created by the choreographer teamed with other artists. Sometimes the character is defined, Sugar Plum, or the piece is abstract. You can create ways to BECOME more expressive. Your director is correct. You rarely dance as JANIE, because you are the vehicle of expression.

Take Sugar Plum Fairy Role. You wan to be beautiful, powerful and full of poise and strength. You can create a history of the character for yourself. Ask questions such as - How did I get to become SP? Where do I live? What is a typical day like for me? Who else is in my life? Family? You create a story that serves as a foundation that carries you to the stage. It is easier to act as if when who you have become has a history.

When you step out on the stage, you have a true purpose for being there. Have earned your place.

When a piece is not as clearly defined. Create words or feeling tones to describe what you sense as you learn the piece. Learn the technique first and then develop the expression.

If there is a happiness fun feel to the piece you enliven it up with facial expression, animated movements and energy. You can create a word that links to this expressions - You might even be reminded of a character that has that feel.

You see. You are rarely JANIE. When you dance as 'someone else' of course you are still Janie.

try this at practice: Pretend you are Janie. Dance as if you are her. Tell us how you are different and what has changed?

Love to you all!
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Sports and Arts Hypnosis.
PittsbughSportsHypnosis,com

Dear Sanna - "Don't Be Janie"

Sometimes I get corrections, and when I apply them the director says "Good! Good girl! now that's not Janie. Don't be Janie." I sometimes also get it in a negative way "No, no don't be Janie - not like that."

I understand that I need to do something different - that is why I am getting the correction in the first place, but it drives me crazy to be told not to be myself! Shouldn't dancing come from inside? I know it's just the way the director says it and not actually what she wants that bothers me, but it is hard for me not to react in a really sarcastic, annoyed way.

I guess writing this I realize that dance is kind of like acting, and we need to take on characters when we perform, even if it is not specifically a story ballet. Maybe I can interpret this as not being Janie the person, but Janie the ballerina, or whoever I am being in this specific role. Maybe that will help me a little.

Janie

Speaking at the Rotary Luncheon

Tuesday, July 20. 12:00 PM
Point Pleasant, PA
Blue Flame Restaurant

Topic: Mindful Eating for Better Health

Janie's Upset

Hi Janie,

You last post is an excellent example of the challenges we can all face with self-esteem, managing stress and confidence on the job. I am wondering if dancer's / performers establish territories for various roles and positions. I am going to guess yes. It would be the same as in the corporate world when someone gets bumped or "traded," even if th eposition is ill suited and stressful. We 'own ' the position/role and the stress that goes along with it.

A close friend was fired from a high powered job last week that he tried to love and hated. He was told they were going in another direction when he clearly knew that it was the result of long standing conflict with his boss. HOWEVER, now only one week later his physical pain has diminished, he is happier, and he realized that HE would have never quit, yet sees how sometimes the "universe" takes care of us in strange ways. he got fired!

In your work, you don't always, rarely have any say so with regard to your role in a piece. You are cast. You are to do your best no matter what the choreography, the personality of the dancer, the costuming ... and on.

In this case Janie, you let yourself personalize this switch rather than seeing it as a gift. You struggled with the choreography, the partner and other aspects. It caused you stress, big stress. You realize there is a cost to that.

In your world, lack of control over your body, illness, joint pain, injury, poor performance, low emotionality. In other words the body does not lie in its expressions and performance ability.

When you personalize, you add stress to the change. rather than allowing the not knowing what is going on to be just that until you find out. You always have a choice, Janie. What if you decided with a big sigh of relief, I am happy that they changed that. I was too too stress for many reasons.

Remember you don't have control over who is cast and when changes are made. And it is not always about you. There job it to set the stage with the best dancers for the choreography. Everytime your personalize you lose the VALUE of the change. there can be a feeling of loss for sure. Can you simply acknowledge. I feel sad at this change. OR I am relieved.

Got it?

Love ya -
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Performance Hypnotherapist

Dear Sanna - Mixed Feelings

I didn't know how to feel the other day when I walked in and saw the schedule. There was a rehearsal for the part that has been the source of most of my stress this year - the one where I dance with the impossible girl. But another girl was written in my place. She is definitely of a higher level than me and will look better with the other girl, plus I don't really enjoy the part anymore anyway because it is just so hard to work with this girl (and is a really hard part anyway).

On the other hand, it never exactly feels good to be taken out of a part, so I was kind of upset at first. Then before the rehearsal one of the ballet mistresses called me over and told me they weren't taking me out because I am bad or can't do the part. I just have a lot on my plate right now so they gave it to the other dancer.

So I guess it's actually the perfect solution. I didn't really want to do the part, but I didn't want to be so bad I was taken out. I'm just a little disappointed that it couldn't have worked out so I would do the part well and enjoy doing it, but that wasn't going to happen anyway.

And the boy who partners the girl I had problems with (let's call her Lacy) and I had a very good laugh during the rehearsal when Lacy immediately started fighting with my replacement (who had done the part years before) and in the end the replacement made Lacy change all the parts she made me change back to the original choreography. :)

Janie

Dear Sanna - Yay!!

I must say these last few weeks before vacation are pretty hard. We are all very tired from a long year and very much looking forward to some real time off. Plus, we are sick of doing the same ballets all year, some even longer than that, and in this last stretch we are doing almost all the ballets we have done this year. It is very difficult to work on so many different ballets at once, plus a new one nobody is all that excited about. Right now it seems so mundane. I know next season it will be better because we will have more new pieces to work on, but right now I really need to try to motivate myself to work.

But I had a wonderful boost of confidence the other day. I was stretching before rehearsal when the director started asking me about a new girl who might come and her current company. In the middle of our conversation the director said I had lost enough weight and not to loose any more. She has never told me not to loose weight before, and I know it is not even always directly connected to my actual weight. It just means in general she is happy with me, so I felt really great after that. It's not that I need to be told I'm skinny or something to be happy. I know how I look and how much I weigh, but since I know this is the director's way of showing she is happy with me, it was really great to hear.

I am also relieved that the huge favor my mom and I asked of the director did not seem to have a long lasting negative impact. Maybe it even proved that I am in a good place here. Yay :)

Janie

Dear Sanna - The call

The clock was ticking, and still the director had not given me the impression that we were on good terms, but also not that it was bad. I just didn't know, but my mom kept asking if she could call, so on a day the director was in a relatively good mood, I gave her the okay, reminding her that the director is completely crazy and must be dealt with very, very carefully, sucking up at every possible moment. Without actually lying, my mom had to present the truth in a way that made it clear it was completely the director's decision(if not idea).

...so I get a message from my mom about an hour later, that says yay. I was so excited! I called her immediately and asked how she possibly did it. She told the director about the trip, explaining she earned it for free and could take one person and chose me, but didn't want to tell me about it until she cleared it with the director since I (Janie) would never ask for such a thing from the director. She explained it was during a holiday and after not so much cajoling, the director agreed and understood that once my mom made arrangements the trip could not be cancelled. The director said they would not normally agree to this, but they like me very much and I am a good girl! I figured she wasn't mad...

...but it's not over. The next day during rehearsal the director told me to talk to her after. So at the end of the day I sat next to her and she asked me if my mother called. "Do you really want to go?" she asked. I didn't know what to say, because not only would my mom (and I) be horribly disappointed if I couldn't go after all, but I was pretty sure my mom already started making arrangements (she was pretty excited). I told her that of course whatever she decided was her word and that was final, but the trip really means a lot to me and my mom. I guess I should've known it wouldn't be easy and the director wouldn't be exactly thrilled about me going, so I got an earful of guilt-tripping, being reminded that I will miss a lot of work and they will not stop performances or anything else for me and I won't be paid as much that month and blah blah blah, but in the end she said I could go, and I guess that's what matters. I am starting to learn that if the director wants to like me and be nice to me, she will, and if not she will find any reason to be angry, pretty much regardless of how I act. So I might as well do what is really important to me, and try to make her happy when I can.

Janie

Dear Sanna - It's Tough To Need A Favor!

So the other day my mom calls me and tells me she wants me to go with her on a once-in-a-lifetime trip this fall. The tour is completely paid for and organized by her employer, and she can bring one person of her choice. So she chose me, if I can go, that is. But in this company people are not even allowed to miss one day of work to go to a parent's funeral, so how will I possibly manage to get permission for this?

I considered lying or just asking straightforwardly, but decided not going was better than those two options. After discussing with some friends though, we decided the best thing to do is completely unheard of in any other type of professional situation: have my mommy call. Kids, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. It sounds like the most childish, stupid, and ineffective way to get something you want in the workplace, but unfortunately with this artistic director some things just don't work normally.

We collectively came up with this plan, because there are strong rumors another girl did a similar thing earlier this year, having her mom come to the director and make a deal allowing her daughter to miss 2 weeks of work. It was a secret, of course, so we all know about it. I hated to even tell my mom about this plan, because it is so ridiculous and in normal situations I would NEVER allow her to negotiate with my employer for me, but like I said these are special circumstances. So I explained to her to forget all normal behavior, pretend this is a surprise for me and I don't know about (so the director cannot blame me), and suck up as much as possible.

We planned a specific time for when she should call, as long as I speak to my mom before to confirm that the director is in a good mood. Unfortunately, just before that day came a ballet mistress asked me what I am going to do about my weight, because the director isn't happy again. This is so frustrating, because I know if the director thinks I'm fat, everything will be a problem no matter what. So now I am trying my absolute best to get the director to think I look good, so we will actually have a shot at this vacation. Wish us luck!

Janie

Janie, You can Dance.

I am responding to your last post - the negative one.

1. We cannot generalize. Yes, there are companies who have laid off dancers. There are also companies who have hired. Belive it or not, some companies work in the black, meaning they have a budget and stick to it.
Also, keep in mind, dancers, retired, stop dancing, are injured or are fired ...which also opens the door for placements.

I know of two companies who have hired this year and last year (when the economy was in worse shape.

Yes, there is competition. There is ALWAYS competition. You have to ask yourself, "What do I want?" Do I have the necessary techniques - mind and body, to be competitive. There are countless stories of those who make against all odds.

Janie, you are buying into resignation and a general malaise of the world population.

2. Yes, you live abroad. You would have to plan, plan, and plan. Use contacts. Talk with fellow dancers. There are also other companies in Europe, Asia and all.

3. Yes, That is one of the challenges of auditioning when you are gainfully employed. You sent a video to this company. Prepare something extravagant and noteworthy. Begin now and you will have one ready when you decide to look elsewhere.

4. Audition season is over. Positions can open during the year for the reasons, I mentioned above.

5. Taking class. Who do you know? Ask your friends who are dancers for an invitation.

6. So you now have an expanded repetoire. Sounds inviting. PLEASE DO NOT ISOLATE yourself with a belief like that, Janie. If you learned a new technique - you can be more desireable and also learn other techniques.

My daughter is now learning Vaganova method. It has been a transition for her, yet she is growing more confident and capable. DO NOT SELL YOURSELF SHORT.

IF YOU PERCEIVE YOURSELF TO BE STUCK then you are stuck. Dance there until you are ready to move on. The dance world is not static and is forever evolving.

IMPORTANT: MAINTAIN YOUR CONTACTS. Write to your biggest fans. Say Hello to old teachers. Give them an update. Keep active with the world outside of your studio.

Love you, Janie and all others who dance.

Sanna Carapellotti, MS Cht

P.S. All comments welcome.

Dear Sanna - Why I can't dance in the states

Okay so this is a negative post. But you asked and maybe it will help to let it out

1. It is impossible right now to get a job almost ANYWHERE, so I am lucky to even have a job at all. Companies are cutting back on their budgets and dancers, so there is more competition than ever with dancers fresh out of school and those being laid off from their current companies.

2. I do not live in the states right now, so it is very difficult to be in contact with companies and do auditions.

3. When I can come back to the states, it is not audition season and most companies aren't even working but on summer vacation, so there will be nobody to see me.

4. Audition season is over for this year, so positions are already filled.

5. When I did ask to take company classes at a few places during audition season when we were on tour, none of the companies would even let me take class, so why would they let me take class now?

6. I am studying now with non-American teachers, so my technique is changing and I will not fit in with American companies anymore.

So I feel kind of stuck. Not that I am dying to leave... right now.

Janie

Write the Good THINGS YOU DO

JANIE, Dancers are very hard and critical of themselves. Try this - After every performance, write what you did well. I remembered this variation very well. I had all my make-up, I was strong.

Built a repetoire of positive experiences. See them on paper and how they accumulate. It is easy to internalize and 'see' only the struggles, mishaps and 'near catastrophies.' I can only imagine spinning at the edge of a stage, yet you did it.

Not dancing that role again could be a logical consequence and maybe not. Don't scare yourself into believing that they are cutting back your roles and participation because of that hiccup. Do not make it a belief. Learn from it. Could you have done anything different?

Remember you can look to that experience and learn from it.

In your company what may feel illogical to you may not be logical to how they proceed. Interesting, eh? I hear very little positive from dancers I work with about how companies are managed. It is their perception. You don't always know what goes on behind the scenes and why decisions are made. It's like being a parent in a way.

Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Performance Hypnosis for Athletes and the Arts.

Dear Sanna - Yay!

The other day was the performance I talked about in the last post. I was nervous again to do the lead role, and the stage was TINY. I freaked myself out a little when I had to do a difficult turn and I was very close to the edge of the stage, and had an obvious hiccup in the turn, but other than that I think the show went pretty well. The artistic director told me after that things like that pirouette should not happen, and in another company they would never allow me to dance the part again, but in general it was better and I am improving.

Even though the dancer I replaced came back that day, I danced the role again today. It was actually the logical choice, since the other girl hadn't danced all week and we all rehearsed this cast, not how it would be with the other dancer, but it was still nice that the director wanted me to dance because our company does not always do things the logical way.

Today's show was much better. Of course there are always little things I wish could've gone better, but I felt much more comfortable in the role. I hate to dance after a day off, but it was actually fine. A dancer I really look up to even told me it was better, and I got good feedback from the ballet mistress as well. Unfortunately this is probably the last time I will dance this role, at least for this season, but I can never be sure. Even if it is, I am happy with how it went.

Janie