Sorry I haven't been blogging - it's not because nothing is going on, just too much! I have been so busy. We had our premier of a new ballet, plus my premier in a new part for an old ballet, and another performance of my favorite piece in the company's repetoire (this was all one performance - a triple bill). I was pretty nervous because I do a lot in this program. In the new ballet I am doing almost all corps parts, plus a few demi-soloist type things. This is a lot in itself, although of all the pieces I have seen which the director choreographed, this is by far my favorite.
Then I do the second piece, which is only 6 girls and 6 guys, so the rest of the company gets a break at this time. Just because it is new for me, it takes a lot of energy, plus it is a pretty technical piece. I am also very happy to dance this ballet, too. It is a nice challenge, and I enjoy the choreography and music very much.
The third piece is by far my favorite. I think it is also one of the hardest things I've done here, but I enjoy it so much and have become very comfortable with it since we performed it a few times now.
The premier went pretty well, and after the director told me I looked better (just I shouldn't smile. apparently she tells everyone this, so I don't feel so bad, but she says I look like there is a bad smell when I smile. It's hard for me to control my face at all, let alone to not smile without looking miserable or blank)
Then we went on an overnight tour with the story ballet. It was fun to get away a little, stay in a hotel and explore a different place, but we came home very late after the last show there, and I was exhausted. We had a day off but my sleep pattern was messed up and when we returned to work the day after, I felt very weak and tired.
To top off my mood, the dancer whom I understudy came to me and told me her grandmother was sick so she will not be dancing next thursday, and I will go in again for her. Looking back on the last show I filled in for her, I am actually pretty embarrassed. I just was not well enough prepared for this role, and it's not great for my confidence that I fell into this role by default, not because I was chosen. Anyway every time I saw the other dancer in this part after, I was honestly relieved it wasn't me. So I wasn't exactly thrilled with this news. The rehearsals that day didn't go so great. I was tired and had to work the hardest out of everyone, staying late after to make sure I remembered all the parts and trying to clean them a little.
I went home and thought about all my corrections, got a good night's sleep, and decided that I needed to chance the part of the variation that stressed me out so much (the one that caused me to yell at the director, etc.). The other dancer actually chanced it a long time ago, so the next day I came and asked if I could do the same. Rehearsals went so much better that day. I feel so much more secure in the role. AND, while I was rehearsing the variation, the director came in a gave a few corrections and said it was much better. After I even asked for a new pair of pointe shoes (in this company this is a very big deal and difficult process) and the director gave them to me without hesitation and told me I looked much better and I would have a lot of opportunities here! She is officially done hating me! yay!!!
So now I still have almost a week to prepare for the role, with a newfound confidence, new shoes, and a new outlook. Janie is happy :)
Janie
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Dancing has it's own life -
Good morning, Janie,
I realize I have been 'away' from the blog. My work is bustling with performers who want to do what they do better and stronger and I have been developing a program with a local MD for weight loss. I am also finishing up a weight management program. So it has been an involved time for us here at Mental Performances.
I also consciously decided to allow your previous blog to float, meaning to not directly intervene. It is important to recognize that as in life, ballet has this anguish that can be all consuming along with the joy and passion that is equally as consuming.
Moving through difficult times is hard, really hard becasue you feel it in every cell of the body, your soul and you have to use the soul driven body to express this beautiful passion and joy.
When someone behaves in that way toward you in the studio or street, the question is - Where are the boundaries? If you best friend spoke to you in that way, you might decide to step away from the relationship. If a stranger shouted at you, you might return the impulse with a shout, or create distance by walking away.
In the studio there can be FEAR and CONTROL instilled by some teachers (who have emotional problems). This does not describe all teachers and there certainly is a difference between being firm and having a angry tirade because the piece is in shambles and show time is days away AND an emotional assault. Sadly some ballet dancers believe that emotional assaults are OK and just the way it is.
Not all companies and teachers emotionally abuse their company members and students. Let's be clear. Arnott Mader, Richmond Ballet is a prime example. he is dearly loved by generations of dance students and professionals. His classes are described as kick ass and down right hard and inspiring. How does he do it? A careful balance of love and guidance. I have sat in on his classes. He is tough, challenging, would never EVER denigrate a student. His respect for them provides a mentoring relationship.
One little dancer with serious performance angst said during her session, "My teacher said that her teacher was mean and a good ballet teacher has to be firm; otherwise we will get lazy." Is this true? Absolutely not.
What is the message here? This teacher may believe that she drives motivation, (She is in fantasy land). Associating FEAR with motivation and performance may work with a small few. Not for most. You dance because you choose this as your profession. It is your 'soul' expression of who you are. No one can make anyone handle the rigors of ballet unless one is internally motivated and passionate about ballet.
Without rambling on ... You have to choose.
Do you internalize someone's emotional troubles and create destructive belief systems about yourself and your performance capabilities?
How do you manage? Do you dare to speak up? What IF you called a meeting? What if you respectfully pulled a teacher aside after class and politely said, "I understand you are frustrated, yet I work better if you show me exactly what I need to do. please do not say those mean things to me."
Maybe she needs to hear this. What are the risks? Your job? Roles? Respect? Boundaries?
You wouldn't know unless you change your response.
You can also decide methods to manage the stress.
1. I would HIGHLY recommend that you do kind things for yourself everyday. Could you listen to one of the programs on the MENTAL PERFORMANCES audios once a day (They are 15 minutes). These can give you a necessary boost and put things in perspective. I will send you my newest "Performance Brilliance" on the Coach in my Bag MP3 player for performers.
DO NOT WAIT until you are stressed to try to feel better, Feel increasingly better NOW becasue these moments will occur.
2. Talk with a friend about what is true. You can make a list of what you believe about your dancing. You will discover that most of it is opinion and false.
You can dance here in the STATES, Janie. That is a limiting belief for next post. Could you write a little about that.
I must attend to my work ... I will be in touch after you respond.
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
MentalPerformances.com
Creator of Coach in My Bag MP3 for performers!
I realize I have been 'away' from the blog. My work is bustling with performers who want to do what they do better and stronger and I have been developing a program with a local MD for weight loss. I am also finishing up a weight management program. So it has been an involved time for us here at Mental Performances.
I also consciously decided to allow your previous blog to float, meaning to not directly intervene. It is important to recognize that as in life, ballet has this anguish that can be all consuming along with the joy and passion that is equally as consuming.
Moving through difficult times is hard, really hard becasue you feel it in every cell of the body, your soul and you have to use the soul driven body to express this beautiful passion and joy.
When someone behaves in that way toward you in the studio or street, the question is - Where are the boundaries? If you best friend spoke to you in that way, you might decide to step away from the relationship. If a stranger shouted at you, you might return the impulse with a shout, or create distance by walking away.
In the studio there can be FEAR and CONTROL instilled by some teachers (who have emotional problems). This does not describe all teachers and there certainly is a difference between being firm and having a angry tirade because the piece is in shambles and show time is days away AND an emotional assault. Sadly some ballet dancers believe that emotional assaults are OK and just the way it is.
Not all companies and teachers emotionally abuse their company members and students. Let's be clear. Arnott Mader, Richmond Ballet is a prime example. he is dearly loved by generations of dance students and professionals. His classes are described as kick ass and down right hard and inspiring. How does he do it? A careful balance of love and guidance. I have sat in on his classes. He is tough, challenging, would never EVER denigrate a student. His respect for them provides a mentoring relationship.
One little dancer with serious performance angst said during her session, "My teacher said that her teacher was mean and a good ballet teacher has to be firm; otherwise we will get lazy." Is this true? Absolutely not.
What is the message here? This teacher may believe that she drives motivation, (She is in fantasy land). Associating FEAR with motivation and performance may work with a small few. Not for most. You dance because you choose this as your profession. It is your 'soul' expression of who you are. No one can make anyone handle the rigors of ballet unless one is internally motivated and passionate about ballet.
Without rambling on ... You have to choose.
Do you internalize someone's emotional troubles and create destructive belief systems about yourself and your performance capabilities?
How do you manage? Do you dare to speak up? What IF you called a meeting? What if you respectfully pulled a teacher aside after class and politely said, "I understand you are frustrated, yet I work better if you show me exactly what I need to do. please do not say those mean things to me."
Maybe she needs to hear this. What are the risks? Your job? Roles? Respect? Boundaries?
You wouldn't know unless you change your response.
You can also decide methods to manage the stress.
1. I would HIGHLY recommend that you do kind things for yourself everyday. Could you listen to one of the programs on the MENTAL PERFORMANCES audios once a day (They are 15 minutes). These can give you a necessary boost and put things in perspective. I will send you my newest "Performance Brilliance" on the Coach in my Bag MP3 player for performers.
DO NOT WAIT until you are stressed to try to feel better, Feel increasingly better NOW becasue these moments will occur.
2. Talk with a friend about what is true. You can make a list of what you believe about your dancing. You will discover that most of it is opinion and false.
You can dance here in the STATES, Janie. That is a limiting belief for next post. Could you write a little about that.
I must attend to my work ... I will be in touch after you respond.
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
MentalPerformances.com
Creator of Coach in My Bag MP3 for performers!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Dear Sanna - feeling better
That was a frustrating patch, but I am feeling much better. It's funny how you can feel completely different when nothing really changes. We had the last performance of the program we took on tour last monday. It was the one the dancer in the company helped me work on, and also the one where I dance with the girl who is very difficult to work with. The next day half the company was away doing a children's performance, and the director asked to talk to me.
She apparently was very angry about this rehearsal the day before I had to step in for that big role, weeks ago. She was screaming at me while I tried to do the hardest, most stressful thing, so I lost it and said "I can't concentrate when you're screaming at me!". Normally she would respond to a comment like this, but for some reason she didn't. It was not THAT bad, especially compared to how a lot of other people act, but it was unlike me, and for some reason the director either truly felt very offended, or wants me to think that. She said she will never forget that and that's why she didn't really talk to me for a few weeks.
In this same talk she told me I dance too stiffly (she always says this but this time was more critical. she was just not happy that day in general and there weren't enough people at work to yell at, so I got it pretty bad)and the show monday was not any better (When I told the dancer who worked with me about this she was very surprised). She also said I need to lose weight.
This is just how the director is. She can go from loving you to hating you in a second, so it's normal for a period where she doesn't like me, it's just not all that pleasant. Once I lose a little weight, I'm sure she will love me again. She is already kinder towards me.
Oh yeah and remember how I danced that piece for that girl who left and then she came back and went back in to her old part? Well now I am back in, replacing another girl. It's not as big a part, and I have new challenges, but I am happy to be dancing this piece again.
In other news, here's this article I found on my role model! In case you're interested...
http://elise-wwwwords.blogspot.com/2010/05/janie-taylor-new-york-city-ballet.html
Janie
She apparently was very angry about this rehearsal the day before I had to step in for that big role, weeks ago. She was screaming at me while I tried to do the hardest, most stressful thing, so I lost it and said "I can't concentrate when you're screaming at me!". Normally she would respond to a comment like this, but for some reason she didn't. It was not THAT bad, especially compared to how a lot of other people act, but it was unlike me, and for some reason the director either truly felt very offended, or wants me to think that. She said she will never forget that and that's why she didn't really talk to me for a few weeks.
In this same talk she told me I dance too stiffly (she always says this but this time was more critical. she was just not happy that day in general and there weren't enough people at work to yell at, so I got it pretty bad)and the show monday was not any better (When I told the dancer who worked with me about this she was very surprised). She also said I need to lose weight.
This is just how the director is. She can go from loving you to hating you in a second, so it's normal for a period where she doesn't like me, it's just not all that pleasant. Once I lose a little weight, I'm sure she will love me again. She is already kinder towards me.
Oh yeah and remember how I danced that piece for that girl who left and then she came back and went back in to her old part? Well now I am back in, replacing another girl. It's not as big a part, and I have new challenges, but I am happy to be dancing this piece again.
In other news, here's this article I found on my role model! In case you're interested...
http://elise-wwwwords.blogspot.com/2010/05/janie-taylor-new-york-city-ballet.html
Janie
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Dear Sanna - my biggest fear
I guess my biggest fear is just wasting time and being unhappy. I hate to think I am wasting time working the wrong way or working for something I will never achieve. I just don't want to get stuck in a place if it doesn't make me truly happy.
I am feeling a little better about things, though. One of the best dancers in the company, who is making the transition into teaching, took me aside the other day to really work with me on one of the parts I especially have trouble with. I forgot what it's like to really work on something and see results. Unlike the other teachers who just scream and make me frustrated, she knows how to actually get me to fix the problems. I can't stand to hear over and over again the same corrections: "you don't bend enough" "more!" "you're not together" "jump!" I feel like I am "bending" as much as I can. More what? When exactly are we not together and why? How can I fix these things without knowing specifically what I need to do?
So this dancer is great, helping me break down each problematic area and discovering why it doesn't look quite right. I move my arms and legs together, instead of my arms being slightly ahead, so it looks stiff and frantic. Simple as that, without actually bending more, I am giving off that effect.
Also a nice day of rest with good friends always helps. As much as I love my friends here of different cultures, sometimes I find it really hard to be myself. I can't make references to pop culture or even make too many jokes, because it gets lost in translation. And sometimes I just feel like there is nothing to say to get off the subject of work. I love talking about ballet - it's my passion. I even wonder sometimes why I don't get sick of talking about it, because sometimes I feel like I could just never get tired of it and I don't understand when other dancers refuse to watch ballets on tv or do anything associated with dance after working hours. But finally I am beginning to understand. When I have a bad day at work or I am stressed out about it, I just want to get my mind off it, and with certain people I can't think of anything else to talk about.
That's why I was so happy for a short get away with this great group of friends I found. One is in the company with me, but the rest are just great, normal (well at least non-dancers) people who happen to love lots of the same things I do and speak English perfectly. It's the best and I feel so lucky to have found my niche with them.
Janie
I am feeling a little better about things, though. One of the best dancers in the company, who is making the transition into teaching, took me aside the other day to really work with me on one of the parts I especially have trouble with. I forgot what it's like to really work on something and see results. Unlike the other teachers who just scream and make me frustrated, she knows how to actually get me to fix the problems. I can't stand to hear over and over again the same corrections: "you don't bend enough" "more!" "you're not together" "jump!" I feel like I am "bending" as much as I can. More what? When exactly are we not together and why? How can I fix these things without knowing specifically what I need to do?
So this dancer is great, helping me break down each problematic area and discovering why it doesn't look quite right. I move my arms and legs together, instead of my arms being slightly ahead, so it looks stiff and frantic. Simple as that, without actually bending more, I am giving off that effect.
Also a nice day of rest with good friends always helps. As much as I love my friends here of different cultures, sometimes I find it really hard to be myself. I can't make references to pop culture or even make too many jokes, because it gets lost in translation. And sometimes I just feel like there is nothing to say to get off the subject of work. I love talking about ballet - it's my passion. I even wonder sometimes why I don't get sick of talking about it, because sometimes I feel like I could just never get tired of it and I don't understand when other dancers refuse to watch ballets on tv or do anything associated with dance after working hours. But finally I am beginning to understand. When I have a bad day at work or I am stressed out about it, I just want to get my mind off it, and with certain people I can't think of anything else to talk about.
That's why I was so happy for a short get away with this great group of friends I found. One is in the company with me, but the rest are just great, normal (well at least non-dancers) people who happen to love lots of the same things I do and speak English perfectly. It's the best and I feel so lucky to have found my niche with them.
Janie
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Dear Sanna - zero confidence
It's been a week now since the show, but I'll briefly tell you how it went. We worked on the variation a little, and like everything, the first time it's natural and maybe not so good, but fairly comfortable for me. Then I work on it and the corrections are uncomfortable so it doesn't look so good, but eventually after a lot of work it gets there. But there just wasn't time for this whole process, so I was trying to do a mixture of corrections and comfort. Anyway who knows how it would've gone under normal circumstances, because we got stuck in traffic and arrived an hour and a half before the show, after doing class in the studio and driving more than 4 hours.
So I was pretty cold and we had no time for spacing, during which I planned on doing everything full for a little extra practice, warm-up, and breaking in new pointe shoes all at once. But there was just time to do my hair and makeup, get dressed, and run the variation before show time. I opted for the older shoes. I felt much more stable during the partnering sections and I tried to "dance" more, but by the end of the variation both my shoes and my foot had had it, and I had to turn my last 6 italian fouettes into a pique turn diagonal. Everyone said it was a good save, but I am yet to see the video, and I felt pretty frantic during the italian fouettes I did do.
Anyway lately I just feel like a kicked puppy. I find it hard to take corrections without getting personally offended, and I am even more self-conscious than normal. I can just feel everyone's eyes on me during barre especially, but all the time. I can barely use my head for subconscious fear of making eye contact with someone! What is wrong with me? And I am just depressed about the state of my dancing instead of inspired to get better. Maybe letting this all out itself with help a little, but I am just so disgruntled. Everyone says all the time that I look embarrassed or like I don't want to be there when I am dancing, and I need to dance like I think I'm amazing, but how can I do that if I know it's not true? I hate when people dance with forced expression. I think it's something you naturally have or acquire, but not something you can force.
I just feel like crying. I thought I couldn't dance in the states, but actually I'm getting the feeling that can't dance anywhere else. I can't be this european ballerina/actress.
Janie
So I was pretty cold and we had no time for spacing, during which I planned on doing everything full for a little extra practice, warm-up, and breaking in new pointe shoes all at once. But there was just time to do my hair and makeup, get dressed, and run the variation before show time. I opted for the older shoes. I felt much more stable during the partnering sections and I tried to "dance" more, but by the end of the variation both my shoes and my foot had had it, and I had to turn my last 6 italian fouettes into a pique turn diagonal. Everyone said it was a good save, but I am yet to see the video, and I felt pretty frantic during the italian fouettes I did do.
Anyway lately I just feel like a kicked puppy. I find it hard to take corrections without getting personally offended, and I am even more self-conscious than normal. I can just feel everyone's eyes on me during barre especially, but all the time. I can barely use my head for subconscious fear of making eye contact with someone! What is wrong with me? And I am just depressed about the state of my dancing instead of inspired to get better. Maybe letting this all out itself with help a little, but I am just so disgruntled. Everyone says all the time that I look embarrassed or like I don't want to be there when I am dancing, and I need to dance like I think I'm amazing, but how can I do that if I know it's not true? I hate when people dance with forced expression. I think it's something you naturally have or acquire, but not something you can force.
I just feel like crying. I thought I couldn't dance in the states, but actually I'm getting the feeling that can't dance anywhere else. I can't be this european ballerina/actress.
Janie
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Dear Sanna - another chance?
Well Erin came today, but I had a private rehearsal scheduled for her part, so it looks like I will be dancing this part in the next show, too. I have no idea if this is based on the fact that Erin is too sick to do it, since she did look pretty weak today and it is her first day back in a while, or if the director wants me to dance or what. I haven't even seen the director since the show, because she did not come backstage after and has been home sick ever since.
Either way, I will be dancing Thursday. When people asked me if I wanted to dance again, I didn't really know how to answer, because I think this is important experience that I need, but I also think that I need time to get the part really good. I feel that I do a part the first time how it feels most natural to me. Then I get corrections, and it feels awkward as I try to get the corrections into my body, and maybe it doesn't look so great and I can't get through as easily as the first time. Then I eventually work it out so I can perform with the corrections without looking awkward. So this is a process that we just don't have time for now. Anyway I suppose a few more rehearsals couldn't hurt, so I will just count this as my second chance at being thrown in at the last minute. I still can't expect perfection, but hopefully I will be slightly less terrified when I step on stage.
Wish me "merde" again!
Janie
Either way, I will be dancing Thursday. When people asked me if I wanted to dance again, I didn't really know how to answer, because I think this is important experience that I need, but I also think that I need time to get the part really good. I feel that I do a part the first time how it feels most natural to me. Then I get corrections, and it feels awkward as I try to get the corrections into my body, and maybe it doesn't look so great and I can't get through as easily as the first time. Then I eventually work it out so I can perform with the corrections without looking awkward. So this is a process that we just don't have time for now. Anyway I suppose a few more rehearsals couldn't hurt, so I will just count this as my second chance at being thrown in at the last minute. I still can't expect perfection, but hopefully I will be slightly less terrified when I step on stage.
Wish me "merde" again!
Janie
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Yes, you are also a teacher.
Janie, what a moment for you. Growth, Inspiring commitment.
In our work (whatever path we chose) there will be difficult moments. In my office a few years ago, someone had a psychotic break down; At a restaurant, a chef burns his hand somehow; On the field a player misses a catch to lose the game.
Understand that these moments make you stronger and a teacher for others who may be placed in the same position one day. How you handle them makes a huge difference in the moment, how others view you and how you handle situations in the future.
Of course this situation was less then optimal. It is never be optimal all the time. Yet, we are all called to do the best we can with what we have at THAT moment.
You write here about the wide range of experiences that are a part of this ballet world -- What the audience never sees and will certainly never experience, unless they are close with a performer.
Yes, it can take its toll in the moment with a headache and shakiness as you described below ... That was because YOU, Janie, put forth so much effort and so much energy that you stressed the body over its capacity. You had a responsibiltity to do your best. You survived and recovered.
That is a professional. You, Janie.
Sanna Carapelotti, MS CHt
Hypnotherapy and EFT for Dancers
Mentalperformances.com
PS: If you are not sleeping like Janie, You would not have had the power to do what she had been called to do. Buy Sleep here.
In our work (whatever path we chose) there will be difficult moments. In my office a few years ago, someone had a psychotic break down; At a restaurant, a chef burns his hand somehow; On the field a player misses a catch to lose the game.
Understand that these moments make you stronger and a teacher for others who may be placed in the same position one day. How you handle them makes a huge difference in the moment, how others view you and how you handle situations in the future.
Of course this situation was less then optimal. It is never be optimal all the time. Yet, we are all called to do the best we can with what we have at THAT moment.
You write here about the wide range of experiences that are a part of this ballet world -- What the audience never sees and will certainly never experience, unless they are close with a performer.
Yes, it can take its toll in the moment with a headache and shakiness as you described below ... That was because YOU, Janie, put forth so much effort and so much energy that you stressed the body over its capacity. You had a responsibiltity to do your best. You survived and recovered.
That is a professional. You, Janie.
Sanna Carapelotti, MS CHt
Hypnotherapy and EFT for Dancers
Mentalperformances.com
PS: If you are not sleeping like Janie, You would not have had the power to do what she had been called to do. Buy Sleep here.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Dear Sanna - I survived
I feel like I just survived a trauma! After the performance, or even really after the first act (which is the hardest for this role), I had such a headache and I was sweating a lot and shakey and I could barely think, but at the same time incredibly relieved.
Of course it could have gone better. I only had one actual rehearsal with the intentions of performing, so mixed with watching a very outdated video several times last night and this morning, I wasn't exactly expecting perfection. But it was fine. Actually, in my opinion the worst part was when I stumbled doing a borre in the very beginning and almost fell. I'm told it was barely noticeable, but it felt HUGE! It's really hard to continue after that, but I forced myself not to worry about it and pretend it didn't happen. The variation was fine, although I did run out of steam a little bit in the end. In general I think I just probably looked about as nervous and tired as I was, since I did almost a full run before the show. I wanted to feel comfortable, so I thought it was better to try everything before the show. It doubled my rehearsals, so it must help a little, right?
But everyone was really nice. All my fellow dancers were really supportive, and even the ballet mistress who I can't stand was fairly nice. I got so much chocolate as gifts! And my best even got me a bottle of champagne, it was so sweet. I didn't see the artistic director for feedback, although she was actually in the audience, to my surprise.
It was definitely an experience. So stressful! I just had to keep reminding myself not to be too dramatic and not take myself so seriously. Because when I think about someone else in my situation, it seems much healthier to be optimistic and upbeat. It just makes everyone around you nervous if you seem completely unconfident. Let's just cross our fingers that Erin is better by the show on Thursday!
Janie
Of course it could have gone better. I only had one actual rehearsal with the intentions of performing, so mixed with watching a very outdated video several times last night and this morning, I wasn't exactly expecting perfection. But it was fine. Actually, in my opinion the worst part was when I stumbled doing a borre in the very beginning and almost fell. I'm told it was barely noticeable, but it felt HUGE! It's really hard to continue after that, but I forced myself not to worry about it and pretend it didn't happen. The variation was fine, although I did run out of steam a little bit in the end. In general I think I just probably looked about as nervous and tired as I was, since I did almost a full run before the show. I wanted to feel comfortable, so I thought it was better to try everything before the show. It doubled my rehearsals, so it must help a little, right?
But everyone was really nice. All my fellow dancers were really supportive, and even the ballet mistress who I can't stand was fairly nice. I got so much chocolate as gifts! And my best even got me a bottle of champagne, it was so sweet. I didn't see the artistic director for feedback, although she was actually in the audience, to my surprise.
It was definitely an experience. So stressful! I just had to keep reminding myself not to be too dramatic and not take myself so seriously. Because when I think about someone else in my situation, it seems much healthier to be optimistic and upbeat. It just makes everyone around you nervous if you seem completely unconfident. Let's just cross our fingers that Erin is better by the show on Thursday!
Janie
Friday, April 9, 2010
Quick Change Ballet
Wow, Janie, I am impressed with your ability to adjust to role changes and be so courageous to perform with our much rehearsal time. That is confidence, my friend.
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Dance Mom
Hypnotherapist
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Dance Mom
Hypnotherapist
Dear Sanna - random opportunities
The other day I noticed I hadn't blogged in a while, and there are new things going on here, but there was just nothing really all that exciting to share and I wasn't inspired. Well today I definitely got a healthy dose of drama for you all.
We have been rehearsing a mix of repertoire since we returned from our tour, and tomorrow we have a show of one of the ballets we started in the very beginning of the year. If you remember, I was really excited to be dancing one of the better roles in the ballet, and actually understudying the second-biggest role in the ballet. Well we had about a million shows of this, including a really intense week, performing twice on some days (which is really rare for this company). So if there was a chance of me performing the big role, I assumed it would've been on one of the double days to give first cast a rest. But it didn't happen, for whatever reason. Maybe I wasn't good enough or they didn't think about switching casts, or maybe it was just too complicated to try to replace my normal parts. So I figured I would never do it and kind of stopped paying too much attention, just rehearsing the variation sometimes for fun.
The other day the girl dancing the role, lets call her Erin, wasn't feeling great, so she asked if I wanted to rehearse the variation instead of her. The next day she didn't show up for rehearsal, but I had to jinx it and say there was no way she would miss the show Saturday. For some reason my confidence that she would perform did not even waver when Erin wasn't in class this morning (the show is tomorrow). So of course, the one time I do not even have an inkling of hope that I will dance, a ballet mistress comes in the middle of class and drags me into the small studio to watch the video and try to figure out what in the world I am doing for the million bajillion little entrances that I stopped learning months ago. Erin is apparently in the hospital, so tomorrow is show time.
On one hand, I used to barely even be able to get through the variation, and now I can do it. But that is not to say it is by any means good enough, and I have maybe done it a total of 5 times in the past 4 months, because we really haven't been working on this program. I also barely know these little entrances which involve a lot of acting and confidence - two things that really don't come naturally to me. But whatever happens happens - there's not so much I can do right now.
There were times I just wanted to cry today, but I will just have to trust myself and do my best. I hope I can sort of enjoy this opportunity, or at the very least learn something from this experience (and add this role to my resume!)
Wish me "merde"...
Janie
We have been rehearsing a mix of repertoire since we returned from our tour, and tomorrow we have a show of one of the ballets we started in the very beginning of the year. If you remember, I was really excited to be dancing one of the better roles in the ballet, and actually understudying the second-biggest role in the ballet. Well we had about a million shows of this, including a really intense week, performing twice on some days (which is really rare for this company). So if there was a chance of me performing the big role, I assumed it would've been on one of the double days to give first cast a rest. But it didn't happen, for whatever reason. Maybe I wasn't good enough or they didn't think about switching casts, or maybe it was just too complicated to try to replace my normal parts. So I figured I would never do it and kind of stopped paying too much attention, just rehearsing the variation sometimes for fun.
The other day the girl dancing the role, lets call her Erin, wasn't feeling great, so she asked if I wanted to rehearse the variation instead of her. The next day she didn't show up for rehearsal, but I had to jinx it and say there was no way she would miss the show Saturday. For some reason my confidence that she would perform did not even waver when Erin wasn't in class this morning (the show is tomorrow). So of course, the one time I do not even have an inkling of hope that I will dance, a ballet mistress comes in the middle of class and drags me into the small studio to watch the video and try to figure out what in the world I am doing for the million bajillion little entrances that I stopped learning months ago. Erin is apparently in the hospital, so tomorrow is show time.
On one hand, I used to barely even be able to get through the variation, and now I can do it. But that is not to say it is by any means good enough, and I have maybe done it a total of 5 times in the past 4 months, because we really haven't been working on this program. I also barely know these little entrances which involve a lot of acting and confidence - two things that really don't come naturally to me. But whatever happens happens - there's not so much I can do right now.
There were times I just wanted to cry today, but I will just have to trust myself and do my best. I hope I can sort of enjoy this opportunity, or at the very least learn something from this experience (and add this role to my resume!)
Wish me "merde"...
Janie
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Dear Sanna - Staying in Shape... or not
Staying in shape during the tour was definitely a struggle. First of all, I never feel like I can work as well during class on stage as in the studio. The classes are shorter and designed to warm you up, not to improve on technique. Also there is usually less space, so I cannot repeat combinations in center like I normally do. And of course there are no mirrors.
The amount of work we do is also shorter than a normal day. Usually we have rehearsals for multiple pieces where we repeat things several times, a performance is just one run, with maybe a mark-through before. Just the amount of work we do is less, which means more free time sitting around, eating, and getting out of shape.
Sometimes there were gyms in the hotel, but often we arrived after it already closed and I was not about to wake up early to work out. There was also food for us EVERYWHERE. First there was free breakfast in the hotel, which I was usually hungry for the morning after a show, since it was usually too late for a real dinner after. Then we often stopped somewhere before going to the theater for lunch, where I normally ate again whether I was hungry or not because I was never sure when I would have another chance to eat. Then there was almost always a huge spread of food for the dancers at the theater, and honestly if there is food it is just hard for me to not have something. Especially when it is different from what we are used to in this country and I want to try interesting things.
So on this tour I definitely got a little out of shape. But it is interesting to see how my body responds to this kind of situation, and I did learn how to at least prepare myself for a performance on tour and not go too crazy with all the food. It was never completely out of hand, just not my normal habits. I feel relaxed knowing it's okay to get a little out of shape, and now that I am back in the country and back to the routine, I am already back to normal
The amount of work we do is also shorter than a normal day. Usually we have rehearsals for multiple pieces where we repeat things several times, a performance is just one run, with maybe a mark-through before. Just the amount of work we do is less, which means more free time sitting around, eating, and getting out of shape.
Sometimes there were gyms in the hotel, but often we arrived after it already closed and I was not about to wake up early to work out. There was also food for us EVERYWHERE. First there was free breakfast in the hotel, which I was usually hungry for the morning after a show, since it was usually too late for a real dinner after. Then we often stopped somewhere before going to the theater for lunch, where I normally ate again whether I was hungry or not because I was never sure when I would have another chance to eat. Then there was almost always a huge spread of food for the dancers at the theater, and honestly if there is food it is just hard for me to not have something. Especially when it is different from what we are used to in this country and I want to try interesting things.
So on this tour I definitely got a little out of shape. But it is interesting to see how my body responds to this kind of situation, and I did learn how to at least prepare myself for a performance on tour and not go too crazy with all the food. It was never completely out of hand, just not my normal habits. I feel relaxed knowing it's okay to get a little out of shape, and now that I am back in the country and back to the routine, I am already back to normal
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sanna at DEA this weekend!
Yes, I am thrilled to be vending at Dance Educators of Amercia's Pittsburgh Dance Competition this weekend. There are 300 plus dancers in competition over three days time.
I want to wish all of them the BEST of luck and love as they show their best stuff to the world!!!
I will be there selling my programs and my newest Coach In My Bag, a Performance MP3, strictly for performers.
It has 13 tracks of high steppin' performance conditioning programs and there are more to come.
It has a pep talk, a visualizaton program, a sleep audio, ways to de-stress, fast acting waqys to feels happy instantly when your days is crappy ... and the best is Performance Brilliance. This powerful journey takes you inside your mind where you strongest potential lives and inspires it! You meet four aspects of self to super charge your desire - Performance Brilliance.
I am so excited about this program. You toss it in your dance bag and there it is whenever you need it ... going to class, at night, during a break, at rehearsals, on the way home.
There are also additional tracks coming for which you can purchase for a small small price. (Hint: Stop Stress Eating!) Read about it here -- Tell me what you think!
http://www.mentalperformances.com/?section=coachinmybag
I am also interested in other issues with dancers. If you tell me an idea and I make a program, You can get an MP3 at a very reduced cost and I will dedicate it to you, anonymously if you wish. Send your idea to me at sanna@mentalperformances.com
Oh, yeah, If you come to visit me this weekend and say, Dance Mind, You will receive and automatic 20% off the purchase prices of Coach In My Bag!
I hope to see you there. It is gonna be Extraordinary!
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
MentalPerformances.com
I want to wish all of them the BEST of luck and love as they show their best stuff to the world!!!
I will be there selling my programs and my newest Coach In My Bag, a Performance MP3, strictly for performers.
It has 13 tracks of high steppin' performance conditioning programs and there are more to come.
It has a pep talk, a visualizaton program, a sleep audio, ways to de-stress, fast acting waqys to feels happy instantly when your days is crappy ... and the best is Performance Brilliance. This powerful journey takes you inside your mind where you strongest potential lives and inspires it! You meet four aspects of self to super charge your desire - Performance Brilliance.
I am so excited about this program. You toss it in your dance bag and there it is whenever you need it ... going to class, at night, during a break, at rehearsals, on the way home.
There are also additional tracks coming for which you can purchase for a small small price. (Hint: Stop Stress Eating!) Read about it here -- Tell me what you think!
http://www.mentalperformances.com/?section=coachinmybag
I am also interested in other issues with dancers. If you tell me an idea and I make a program, You can get an MP3 at a very reduced cost and I will dedicate it to you, anonymously if you wish. Send your idea to me at sanna@mentalperformances.com
Oh, yeah, If you come to visit me this weekend and say, Dance Mind, You will receive and automatic 20% off the purchase prices of Coach In My Bag!
I hope to see you there. It is gonna be Extraordinary!
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
MentalPerformances.com
Friday, March 12, 2010
Dear Sanna - The Bus
I never spent so much time on a bus in my entire life as this tour. Starting with a 5-hour drive after getting off the loooong plane ride, there were few days without a 2-6 hour drive. Sometimes we traveled more than 12 hours. It was really a funny picture, too, since we dancers found some creative positions to sleep and sit. There were legs in the air all over the place, people lying in the aisles on the pilates mats many bought at target for $9.99, and watching somebody make their way from front to back or vice-versa was pretty funny since they had to do so without stepping on the people on the floor, climbing along the arm rests.
Unfortunately, it is difficult for me to read on the bus without getting sick, and I couldn't even really take advantage of the wi-fi for the same reason. So I tried to sleep sometime and also spoke with a lot of people I never really talked to much. It's funny but I actually improved a lot in the language of this country while we were abroad from talking with non-English speakers.
People also went a little crazy from these long drives. We were sore and stiff from sitting in the seats and often expected to perform just a few hours later. Sometimes I did some foot exercises, and stretched as well as I could in the seats, but it was difficult. There were fights over stopping more often for cigarette breaks or just a chance to stretch our legs, and some people just complained all the time.
It was definitely an experience. We saw a lot of beautiful scenery and some great landmarks from that bus. We even made friends with our bus driver, who stayed with us the entire trip and even learned a few words from the language of the company. But I think I can safely say I had enough driving to last me a while now.
Janie
Unfortunately, it is difficult for me to read on the bus without getting sick, and I couldn't even really take advantage of the wi-fi for the same reason. So I tried to sleep sometime and also spoke with a lot of people I never really talked to much. It's funny but I actually improved a lot in the language of this country while we were abroad from talking with non-English speakers.
People also went a little crazy from these long drives. We were sore and stiff from sitting in the seats and often expected to perform just a few hours later. Sometimes I did some foot exercises, and stretched as well as I could in the seats, but it was difficult. There were fights over stopping more often for cigarette breaks or just a chance to stretch our legs, and some people just complained all the time.
It was definitely an experience. We saw a lot of beautiful scenery and some great landmarks from that bus. We even made friends with our bus driver, who stayed with us the entire trip and even learned a few words from the language of the company. But I think I can safely say I had enough driving to last me a while now.
Janie
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Dear Sanna - Finally back!
Whew that was a long tour indeed! Fun, tiring, stressful, frustrating, amazing - I think I went through just about every emotion over this month. It is impossible to tell everything in just one post, so maybe I will try to post about each subject in segments.
First segment: Casting
So, in the typical fashion of this company, there was no such thing as casting, even after arriving to the first hotel. The next day we had class at this tiny studio nearby with extremely scary slippery wooden floors (which the company immediately coated with a thick layer of rosin) and planned to have a few rehearsals.
Well one of our principle male dancers told the director weeks before he was having pain in his foot, but everyone just ignored this. At this point, before the tour even began, he could not dance at all. So we spent this day replacing him and working out the parts which would be affected. If you remember, the part I always stress about is all about stamina, so I wasn't particularly happy about not having a chance to at least run it that day, since it had already been 2 days since my last rehearsal of it. They did, at least, tell us that my cast would be performing in the first show (the next day).
We ran it before the show, and I actually felt okay. Wheezing and completely out of breath, as usual, but I survived. Our next show after that was a few days later, and we somehow managed to find out that my cast would perform that show and the one after. The second of these two shows was one where a girl from the other cast (let's call her Amanda) had family and she asked if she could perform there. I also told the director that it didn't matter to me and Amanda really wanted this show, but the director said probably not because this was an important place where we were performing and Amanda and her partner might not be good enough. After that performance the director asked me if I had family in the audience. When I said no, the director replied "Oh I thought you did. You know Amanda had a lot of family here, why didn't you say so?" That was frustrating. But I think the director knew exactly what was going on and didn't cast Amanda on purpose.
The other cast performed the following day in the worst theater from the whole trip, and again in another small city. The third time they were supposed to perform, Amanda had pain in her foot and couldn't dance, so we all pushed and somehow my friend and original partner got to dance in her place. We were all really happy she could have at least one chance to dance it, although it must have been really hard, not having rehearsed in almost a month, and never having done it with Amanda's partner. She did well, though.
So in the end, I performed 9 of the 12 performances of this program (there were 3 other performances of a different program, so 15 altogether). I was happy I was trusted to dance in the end, as first cast, too! I was constantly corrected to have more confidence in my dancing, and sometimes they said it was better. It's hard to fake confidence, and even harder to really have it, for me, so even the slightest improvement makes me happy, and probably even helps with the problem itself.
Good to be back! More soon,
Janie
First segment: Casting
So, in the typical fashion of this company, there was no such thing as casting, even after arriving to the first hotel. The next day we had class at this tiny studio nearby with extremely scary slippery wooden floors (which the company immediately coated with a thick layer of rosin) and planned to have a few rehearsals.
Well one of our principle male dancers told the director weeks before he was having pain in his foot, but everyone just ignored this. At this point, before the tour even began, he could not dance at all. So we spent this day replacing him and working out the parts which would be affected. If you remember, the part I always stress about is all about stamina, so I wasn't particularly happy about not having a chance to at least run it that day, since it had already been 2 days since my last rehearsal of it. They did, at least, tell us that my cast would be performing in the first show (the next day).
We ran it before the show, and I actually felt okay. Wheezing and completely out of breath, as usual, but I survived. Our next show after that was a few days later, and we somehow managed to find out that my cast would perform that show and the one after. The second of these two shows was one where a girl from the other cast (let's call her Amanda) had family and she asked if she could perform there. I also told the director that it didn't matter to me and Amanda really wanted this show, but the director said probably not because this was an important place where we were performing and Amanda and her partner might not be good enough. After that performance the director asked me if I had family in the audience. When I said no, the director replied "Oh I thought you did. You know Amanda had a lot of family here, why didn't you say so?" That was frustrating. But I think the director knew exactly what was going on and didn't cast Amanda on purpose.
The other cast performed the following day in the worst theater from the whole trip, and again in another small city. The third time they were supposed to perform, Amanda had pain in her foot and couldn't dance, so we all pushed and somehow my friend and original partner got to dance in her place. We were all really happy she could have at least one chance to dance it, although it must have been really hard, not having rehearsed in almost a month, and never having done it with Amanda's partner. She did well, though.
So in the end, I performed 9 of the 12 performances of this program (there were 3 other performances of a different program, so 15 altogether). I was happy I was trusted to dance in the end, as first cast, too! I was constantly corrected to have more confidence in my dancing, and sometimes they said it was better. It's hard to fake confidence, and even harder to really have it, for me, so even the slightest improvement makes me happy, and probably even helps with the problem itself.
Good to be back! More soon,
Janie
Friday, February 26, 2010
While Janie Travels ...
Wow, she is on one long tour here in the Western Hemisphere! I have not heard from her. I know she is on a bus, had breakdowns (the bus) and have been all over No America. She will have good stories when she returns and her usual style of sharing insight.
I thought I would share a client story with you. This dancer gave me permission to use her story as a way of showing how healing can occur 'energetically.' I will not mention her real name.
"Caitlin called for an appointment because no one was taking her dance seriously. She felt weak and scared while on stage, in class. Did not want to perform in an upcoming recital. She felt like her family did not really care if she danced or not. Their support was not very enthusiastic. No one ever asked her "How's dance?" When they attend recitals it is 'ho'hum."
Caitlin is 18, in HS and has been dancing for many years. She wants to pursue a professional career, is told she has talent, but needs to be more energetic and expressive.
We talked.
We shifted the focus toward discussing her family. Parents were still married. Mother was a dance major in college and never pursued a career. Went straight to marriage and family. Her Mother's sister was an apprentice to a popular photographer in the USA and never followed through after the apprentice. She was offered a job, yet withdrew and takes pictures at family events. Another Aunt is a painter, seriously depressed and has been suicidal.
What do you see here in this family system? Creative women who for some reason could not, or were not allowed to express themselves. (reason? Not sure)
Catlin always knew this, yet never tied it to her struggles. If she were to stand in her power she breaks the lineage, the flow. Women in this family stick together. They DO NOT express themselves. Is Caitlin does she risks not belonging and maintaining her sadness and fears,
Solution?
Caitlin lined up the women in front of her (I have footprints) and stood in front of each one. She said, "I dance. I choose to honor that you could not express yourself for whatever reason. I love you very much and I want you to wish me well in my dance. I dance and express myself for all of you." She moved from each women and said something similar to that.
We did a few other things for empowerment. Eliminated her fears and rebuild an experience to take to the stage,
She called two weeks later and said she wow'ed everyone. It was the first time she took herself seriously (BECAUSE she was following a tradition). She danced in all her glory. Free. Alive. Fun.
I believe that many performers do not reach their potential due to unconscious systems like the one above. The good news is that they are easy to shift. When you do, whew, the earth can move.
You might have already noticed how you take you life to the stage!
Thank you for being a fan of DANCE MIND.
Sanna
Mentalperformances.com
I thought I would share a client story with you. This dancer gave me permission to use her story as a way of showing how healing can occur 'energetically.' I will not mention her real name.
"Caitlin called for an appointment because no one was taking her dance seriously. She felt weak and scared while on stage, in class. Did not want to perform in an upcoming recital. She felt like her family did not really care if she danced or not. Their support was not very enthusiastic. No one ever asked her "How's dance?" When they attend recitals it is 'ho'hum."
Caitlin is 18, in HS and has been dancing for many years. She wants to pursue a professional career, is told she has talent, but needs to be more energetic and expressive.
We talked.
We shifted the focus toward discussing her family. Parents were still married. Mother was a dance major in college and never pursued a career. Went straight to marriage and family. Her Mother's sister was an apprentice to a popular photographer in the USA and never followed through after the apprentice. She was offered a job, yet withdrew and takes pictures at family events. Another Aunt is a painter, seriously depressed and has been suicidal.
What do you see here in this family system? Creative women who for some reason could not, or were not allowed to express themselves. (reason? Not sure)
Catlin always knew this, yet never tied it to her struggles. If she were to stand in her power she breaks the lineage, the flow. Women in this family stick together. They DO NOT express themselves. Is Caitlin does she risks not belonging and maintaining her sadness and fears,
Solution?
Caitlin lined up the women in front of her (I have footprints) and stood in front of each one. She said, "I dance. I choose to honor that you could not express yourself for whatever reason. I love you very much and I want you to wish me well in my dance. I dance and express myself for all of you." She moved from each women and said something similar to that.
We did a few other things for empowerment. Eliminated her fears and rebuild an experience to take to the stage,
She called two weeks later and said she wow'ed everyone. It was the first time she took herself seriously (BECAUSE she was following a tradition). She danced in all her glory. Free. Alive. Fun.
I believe that many performers do not reach their potential due to unconscious systems like the one above. The good news is that they are easy to shift. When you do, whew, the earth can move.
You might have already noticed how you take you life to the stage!
Thank you for being a fan of DANCE MIND.
Sanna
Mentalperformances.com
Friday, February 19, 2010
Janie is still away!
Hello Everyone,
Janie is still 'out of the country." I look forward to hearing of her travels when she returns. The company has traveled long and far.
With Janie's keen insights and inside information we can trust a fresh viewpoint and a look at what can go right and wrong while traveling.
I'm sure you are all in the thick of rehearsals for upcoming performances. Tell us how it is going for you?
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Dance Mom
Hypnotherapist
www.mentalperformances.com
Janie is still 'out of the country." I look forward to hearing of her travels when she returns. The company has traveled long and far.
With Janie's keen insights and inside information we can trust a fresh viewpoint and a look at what can go right and wrong while traveling.
I'm sure you are all in the thick of rehearsals for upcoming performances. Tell us how it is going for you?
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Dance Mom
Hypnotherapist
www.mentalperformances.com
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Janie : On the road
I know you are on the road. I wish you and the company the best! This is a wonderful experience.
Meanwhile, I am going to put up here a quick stress reduction strategy that is on my new audio -- coming out in March.
Use it when you notice the feeling of stress and tell me what happens!!!
Finger Drop -
You can sit or stand for Finger Drop.
Gently rest your hand on or against your thigh. Raise only your pointer finger. Focus your eyes on an object or a shape in front of you. Breathe in and begin counting backwards slowly from 60 ... down to one ... with each number your finger falls every so slightly closer to the leg. When you say one ... your finger touches down and you relax.
Here read along and do it. Once you get it ... You got it.
You can count back by fives and eventually tens. The more you practice the easier it becomes and the faster you destress..
60 -- finger is raised and NOW Big breath in and out slowly. Remember your eyes are focused. 55. finger drops every so slightly. 50 ... breathe in and your eyes focus on something there in front of you.
45 -- it is so nice to relax.
40 - you are that important ...
35 - you deserve this time to yourself.
30 - breathing -- You will feel better very soon.
25 .. halfway there. you feel more relaxed.
20 - so nice ... let go a little more drop your shoulder. Keep your eyes focus.
15 your finger is getting closer to our leg ...
10 so very close to relaxation ....
5 ... ready to touch down and relax -
0. You Relax now. Take a big breath in . Blink your eyes a few times. Move your body around and step back into your life.
Let me know how this works for you. More to come...
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Dance Mom, Hypnotherapist
Mentalperformances.com
Meanwhile, I am going to put up here a quick stress reduction strategy that is on my new audio -- coming out in March.
Use it when you notice the feeling of stress and tell me what happens!!!
Finger Drop -
You can sit or stand for Finger Drop.
Gently rest your hand on or against your thigh. Raise only your pointer finger. Focus your eyes on an object or a shape in front of you. Breathe in and begin counting backwards slowly from 60 ... down to one ... with each number your finger falls every so slightly closer to the leg. When you say one ... your finger touches down and you relax.
Here read along and do it. Once you get it ... You got it.
You can count back by fives and eventually tens. The more you practice the easier it becomes and the faster you destress..
60 -- finger is raised and NOW Big breath in and out slowly. Remember your eyes are focused. 55. finger drops every so slightly. 50 ... breathe in and your eyes focus on something there in front of you.
45 -- it is so nice to relax.
40 - you are that important ...
35 - you deserve this time to yourself.
30 - breathing -- You will feel better very soon.
25 .. halfway there. you feel more relaxed.
20 - so nice ... let go a little more drop your shoulder. Keep your eyes focus.
15 your finger is getting closer to our leg ...
10 so very close to relaxation ....
5 ... ready to touch down and relax -
0. You Relax now. Take a big breath in . Blink your eyes a few times. Move your body around and step back into your life.
Let me know how this works for you. More to come...
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHt
Dance Mom, Hypnotherapist
Mentalperformances.com
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Dear Sanna - what a mess
We have a slew of important performances coming up VERY soon *squeal of excitement/nerves* and yesterday's rehearsal was a mess. First of all, a few people were out sick, which complicates corps and makes it difficult to correct things or see what is wrong, since there are either gaps or people filling in who don't necessarily know what they are doing.
Then, before rehearsal for the part I talk about all the time - the musical casting - the artistic director decided to tell the pseudo-anorexic girl (i think she is more generally sick in the head than anorexic) that she needs to keep her weight under control because she is too up and down all the time. The director didn't necessarily say loose weight, but any conversation with this dancer other than "you are too skinny" results in an explosion.
So she was crying in the dressing room during rehearsal. She is part of the other cast. My other half was sick. The remaining girl and myself do the same part (for the most part, since my other half changed everything around so we are sometimes like the other group, sometimes opposite, and sometimes so different you can't even call it opposite). So we couldn't even really rehearse together. So frustrating. I need these rehearsals, because this is one of the hardest things I've ever done stamina-wise, and I need to run it every day so I will have the stamina to get through. Also, I really don't know all the little acting parts, so it would be really nice if I could have a rehearsal to figure out what I'm doing. Grrr.
Anyway after the rehearsal I went in the small studio and sort of did the variation myself for stamina, and I plan to watch some videos today to try to get an idea of how the acting should be. This is what I can control, so I will do what I can, and hope everything out of my control falls into place. Hopefully everyone recovers over the weekend and we can really utilize our last week to prepare!
Janie
Then, before rehearsal for the part I talk about all the time - the musical casting - the artistic director decided to tell the pseudo-anorexic girl (i think she is more generally sick in the head than anorexic) that she needs to keep her weight under control because she is too up and down all the time. The director didn't necessarily say loose weight, but any conversation with this dancer other than "you are too skinny" results in an explosion.
So she was crying in the dressing room during rehearsal. She is part of the other cast. My other half was sick. The remaining girl and myself do the same part (for the most part, since my other half changed everything around so we are sometimes like the other group, sometimes opposite, and sometimes so different you can't even call it opposite). So we couldn't even really rehearse together. So frustrating. I need these rehearsals, because this is one of the hardest things I've ever done stamina-wise, and I need to run it every day so I will have the stamina to get through. Also, I really don't know all the little acting parts, so it would be really nice if I could have a rehearsal to figure out what I'm doing. Grrr.
Anyway after the rehearsal I went in the small studio and sort of did the variation myself for stamina, and I plan to watch some videos today to try to get an idea of how the acting should be. This is what I can control, so I will do what I can, and hope everything out of my control falls into place. Hopefully everyone recovers over the weekend and we can really utilize our last week to prepare!
Janie
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Janie, Being instructed.
Your last post was very clear.
It speaks about how you respond to instruction and direction. Your confidence when performing is dependent on how well rehearsed you feel (that varies from one to another). Letting go of the training mind (Learning) comes when you trust that your body mind are 'intelligent' of the choreography. You do not THINK while dancing.
You describe a very dynamic director who is knowledgeable and sensitive to the needs of HOW a dancer learns choreography.
From what I hear from other performers, it is so exciting to be taught by such individuals as they are true professionals. They realize that teaching the choreography comes with responsibility of guidance with 'personality' out of the way. It is truly the duty of an instructor to 'study' how they can be more effective as instructors.
Dancing and teaching are different, aren't they? There is an art to both.
AGAIN, Janie, ask yourself, "What do I have control over?" Role changes are political and practical based on the subjective needs of the instructor, the company, directors and the choreography. NEVER CLING or hold on to a part. You have experienced and witnessed how sweeping changes can occur from one day to the next.
How does one do that? First and foremost, you have to agree, that what you have now may change in some way. Agreeing allows you to be present with your current status, even in the face of a change.
Practice being flexible in mind and body. Is it fair? No,probably not, yet that is the nature of the beast whether you are on stage or corporate.
HOW TO PRACTICE BETTER WHEN THE INSTRUCTOR IS NOT SO THOROUGH.
1. Visualize. (I have a new program coming out to help with this. I recorded yesterday)
2. Stay calm in the midst of change. Use breath.
3. DO NOT engage in drama. Use this blog or a journal and let it go. When you have your company, then you WILL be more sensitive and apply what you have learned.
4. Talk to the teachers about what works. (How is it that instructors are unapproachable? What is the fear? There are clear boundaries after a certain level and age, when no one is 'allowed' to address teaching/studio issues. You know it could help and offer food for thought.
It speaks about how you respond to instruction and direction. Your confidence when performing is dependent on how well rehearsed you feel (that varies from one to another). Letting go of the training mind (Learning) comes when you trust that your body mind are 'intelligent' of the choreography. You do not THINK while dancing.
You describe a very dynamic director who is knowledgeable and sensitive to the needs of HOW a dancer learns choreography.
From what I hear from other performers, it is so exciting to be taught by such individuals as they are true professionals. They realize that teaching the choreography comes with responsibility of guidance with 'personality' out of the way. It is truly the duty of an instructor to 'study' how they can be more effective as instructors.
Dancing and teaching are different, aren't they? There is an art to both.
AGAIN, Janie, ask yourself, "What do I have control over?" Role changes are political and practical based on the subjective needs of the instructor, the company, directors and the choreography. NEVER CLING or hold on to a part. You have experienced and witnessed how sweeping changes can occur from one day to the next.
How does one do that? First and foremost, you have to agree, that what you have now may change in some way. Agreeing allows you to be present with your current status, even in the face of a change.
Practice being flexible in mind and body. Is it fair? No,probably not, yet that is the nature of the beast whether you are on stage or corporate.
HOW TO PRACTICE BETTER WHEN THE INSTRUCTOR IS NOT SO THOROUGH.
1. Visualize. (I have a new program coming out to help with this. I recorded yesterday)
2. Stay calm in the midst of change. Use breath.
3. DO NOT engage in drama. Use this blog or a journal and let it go. When you have your company, then you WILL be more sensitive and apply what you have learned.
4. Talk to the teachers about what works. (How is it that instructors are unapproachable? What is the fear? There are clear boundaries after a certain level and age, when no one is 'allowed' to address teaching/studio issues. You know it could help and offer food for thought.
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