Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Dear Sanna - There ARE no rules!

The most frustrating part of this all is that there are no rules here. Everything is a complete mess. Like I said, I don't even get real rehearsals for the variation. Also, there is no official ballet mistress to work with me, and no official choreography other than the last girl who did the part. I learned it from her, and we have changed many things since then. The "evil" ballet mistress I mentioned says all the time that I have choices.

Besides, we didn't even change any choreography. Just things as minor as bending the elbow slightly more, or trying to turn out more or balance longer. I thought this was just trying to do a part better, not changing precious choreography. The evil woman is just on a power trip. I knew before I even danced that she would not tell me anything good about it, because somebody else worked on it. After the performance, which went fairly well, most people came and told me I did really well. The nice dancer/ballet mistress told me it was getting there, so of course I understand there is still room to grow. It was like doing it the first time with the new corrections. Then the evil ballet mistress came, said "the variation..." and made a face. She went on to say what a shame it was that we worked so hard for so long for nothing. It really upsets me, because I am happy with the way I danced the part, and she makes it seem like I threw away all the work and danced badly.

The good news is, the evil ballet mistress appeared to forget about the whole issue, so it can be like it never happened. But I don't want to dance the way she tells me to. Often she says to do things that are just technically incorrect, and the rest of the time she is forcing people to dance exactly the way she did. She was a nice dancer, but very small and her style really does not apply to all dancers, especially not ones with long limbs that don't need to fudge every line to appear longer.

I am also not the only one who feels this way - almost all the dancers agree, and she often contradicts other teachers. leaving dancers confused about which way we are supposed to do things. I will try my best to respectfully choose whose advice I follow, but I don't care what she thinks if I feel I am doing the right thing.


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