Hello, Janie,
It will be difficult to say 'Goodbye.' Accept it. You will feel sad and upset. You may never see some of them again. This camaraderie is a gift that is shared by teams, dance corps and an group that comes together. It is bittersweet.
You take a part of them with you and you leave a part of you behind. These people changed your life and helped to shape your dancing. Honor them (as I mentioned in the most recent post).
Do something celebratory that 'leaves' you in the country. Bury something of yours in the dirt or scatter something in the wind.
This closes a chapter in your life and opens another. Breathe into the uncertainty. It is difficult to not know where you are headed, yet isn't that how we travel to new places? Start daydreaming of your perfect studio, company and place to live.
You will be happy to return to the USA, a more mature, wiser, young woman.
Please keep us posted on your journey through this transition.
Much Love, Sanna
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Dear Sanna - ahhhhh!
I just got back from the tour - and it was AMAZING! I can't believe I can have so much fun in just 4 days - and only one show! But I'll tell you all about it later.
Now it's morning and I'm getting ready to go to work. Today is the day I MUST tell the director I am leaving. I am not looking forward to this. It's like breaking up with somebody. I know I need to do it, but it won't be easy for either of us. Despite the less-than-kindness I have often felt from the director, all in all we have a good relationship and I sort of feel like family after 3 years. I put off telling the director until after the tour because I didn't want to stress everybody out, but I can't put it off any longer.
So wish me luck! Here goes nothing. Gulp.
Janie
Now it's morning and I'm getting ready to go to work. Today is the day I MUST tell the director I am leaving. I am not looking forward to this. It's like breaking up with somebody. I know I need to do it, but it won't be easy for either of us. Despite the less-than-kindness I have often felt from the director, all in all we have a good relationship and I sort of feel like family after 3 years. I put off telling the director until after the tour because I didn't want to stress everybody out, but I can't put it off any longer.
So wish me luck! Here goes nothing. Gulp.
Janie
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Janie: The Ease if it all!
Janie, I must say that in reading your last posts, there is a beautiful integration of humanness coming together. You as a dancer and a rich appreciation of others. I am happy that you enjoyed the Russian dancers. You understand the trials and tribulations of traveling far for performance. Witnessing what they bring to the stage offers you the opportunity for personal growth and development. As you know being a dancer is a constant evolution toward expressing your personal best. You observe and rehearse; perform and celebrate. You have learned that dance is not tidy, even less tidy then the younger days in a studio where at least the stages were set and defined.
As you approach your departure, consider doing small things through each day. Maybe you tell someone one thank you for all they have done, or that you have noticed someone's improvement, or invite friends over for dinner, bring in a healthy snack, help someone ... Every day you leave a part of you with your colleagues. You will be cherished and remembered.
This experience prepares for the next leap across the pond. As you land in the states, you will be surprised at what you offer, how you have matured and grown as a dancer.
Much love, JANIE! SO proud of you!
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHT
Hypnotherapapy
PS Need to sleep, Stepping to Sleep recommended by Dance Magazine for restless dancers. WHo else wants more sleep before a performance? http://www.mentalperformances.com/?section=dancers-sleep
As you approach your departure, consider doing small things through each day. Maybe you tell someone one thank you for all they have done, or that you have noticed someone's improvement, or invite friends over for dinner, bring in a healthy snack, help someone ... Every day you leave a part of you with your colleagues. You will be cherished and remembered.
This experience prepares for the next leap across the pond. As you land in the states, you will be surprised at what you offer, how you have matured and grown as a dancer.
Much love, JANIE! SO proud of you!
Sanna Carapellotti, MS CHT
Hypnotherapapy
PS Need to sleep, Stepping to Sleep recommended by Dance Magazine for restless dancers. WHo else wants more sleep before a performance? http://www.mentalperformances.com/?section=dancers-sleep
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Dear Sanna - Short and Sweet
The shows in the big opera house went really well! It was strange, because the focus of rehearsals and corrections was almost entirely on the big corps, which I am involved in but was not my most stressful part. In the first act I was one of 6 in a kind of special part, and also one of 12 in an also more selective part than the on we always rehearsed. But we barely got corrections, and to be honest I felt less pressured and really enjoyed dancing those parts.
As for the big corps, a few students who were necessary to fill in our sparse company caused a LOT of spacing issues. After many many extra rehearsals just for them, I was angry and found myself sternly lecturing the girl in front of me after the dress rehearsal! But I guess it looked fine from the audience, because we got good feedback anyway, and in the following shows it was much better.
I enjoyed working with the Russian soloists, even if they weren't the best of the best. Many of my coworkers had harsh criticisms, but all I can say is that they were a million times better than anyone in this company, and I really admire them. It was fun to watch and dance with them and be part of a big, professional production. We had 4 sold-out shows in a huge theater, and I loved it. Like I said before, moments like this make me think I really am looking for a bigger company right now.
The soloists went back home, so that's it for that production! Strange for our company to have less than two weeks of shows and then leave a ballet. Now we will get ready for the premier of the director's new ballet and a quick tour! Never a dull moment (or a break for that matter)
Janie
As for the big corps, a few students who were necessary to fill in our sparse company caused a LOT of spacing issues. After many many extra rehearsals just for them, I was angry and found myself sternly lecturing the girl in front of me after the dress rehearsal! But I guess it looked fine from the audience, because we got good feedback anyway, and in the following shows it was much better.
I enjoyed working with the Russian soloists, even if they weren't the best of the best. Many of my coworkers had harsh criticisms, but all I can say is that they were a million times better than anyone in this company, and I really admire them. It was fun to watch and dance with them and be part of a big, professional production. We had 4 sold-out shows in a huge theater, and I loved it. Like I said before, moments like this make me think I really am looking for a bigger company right now.
The soloists went back home, so that's it for that production! Strange for our company to have less than two weeks of shows and then leave a ballet. Now we will get ready for the premier of the director's new ballet and a quick tour! Never a dull moment (or a break for that matter)
Janie
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Dear Sanna - In the mood
After that terrible performance, it was nice to forget the contemporary piece and go back to full days, being involved in every rehearsal. The director's choreography somehow seems much more enjoyable in comparison, and the classical piece is very refreshing. The guests from Russia came just one day before the first performance and they were so tired from traveling, they just marked through the rehearsal!
We all came into work at about the time we usually finish that day, and the schedule change alone had me kind of excited for some reason. I was also curious to see the new soloists and eager to see the whole ballet together for once. When I think about it, all of the choreography is very comfortable for me. The most difficult part is keeping up stamina and pointing my feet, doing things nicely, etc. Nothing like a scary pirouette, so I felt pretty confident.
The next day we got to the outdoor theater, complete with outdoor dressing rooms, closed in by only a tarp! It was very windy and a little chilly even in sunlight, so we pretty much froze before the show waiting backstage in our costumes. The adrenaline warmed us a little when we got on stage, but more so dancing warmed us. The eerie wind and sound of the sets creaking (literally - I think a piece even broke off!) really added to the effect of the show and I really felt in character. I was also so secure in balancing and the corps was so together! The soloists were amazing, and I just loved performing, even if I did freeze. I'm so glad there are more fun performances like this before I leave!
Janie
We all came into work at about the time we usually finish that day, and the schedule change alone had me kind of excited for some reason. I was also curious to see the new soloists and eager to see the whole ballet together for once. When I think about it, all of the choreography is very comfortable for me. The most difficult part is keeping up stamina and pointing my feet, doing things nicely, etc. Nothing like a scary pirouette, so I felt pretty confident.
The next day we got to the outdoor theater, complete with outdoor dressing rooms, closed in by only a tarp! It was very windy and a little chilly even in sunlight, so we pretty much froze before the show waiting backstage in our costumes. The adrenaline warmed us a little when we got on stage, but more so dancing warmed us. The eerie wind and sound of the sets creaking (literally - I think a piece even broke off!) really added to the effect of the show and I really felt in character. I was also so secure in balancing and the corps was so together! The soloists were amazing, and I just loved performing, even if I did freeze. I'm so glad there are more fun performances like this before I leave!
Janie
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