Saturday, October 24, 2009
Dear Sanna - Not nervous, excited!
How could I forget the lessons I learned last year? These knots in my stomach I've been feeling all week are exactly the excitement I was asking for. I hate performing without feeling, so I need to regard this not negatively as "nervous", but in a positive way as excitement. I am happy and ready for a chance to dance on stage and really perform. It will be fun! No matter what happens, I am getting to do what I love on stage.
The more I enjoy every moment, the more it shows in my dancing, and the less I sabotage myself by over-thinking the steps.
As for loving myself unconditionally, I understand that this would improve my dancing, and I wish I could just turn on or off self-confidence. But that's what makes it so hard. I can't just say I love myself unconditionally and make it happen. Maybe I will learn to, but in the mean time I am just trying to focus on the positive.
Also, I think a funny exercise I made up for myself is helping. If I feel self-conscious or see somebody watching me, I focus completely on them, instead of trying to ignore it. Almost just like the nerves, I try to use their once distracting looks as support while I dance. If I just stare back, I can dance through it. If I try to pretend I don't see them, I lose my focus.
Interesting how many things go through my mind while I dance.