Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dear Sanna - some answers

It's true. Nerves can be good. I remember at the beginning of the year, I did not feel nervous for the first few performances. Maybe the atmosphere did not feel professional to me, or maybe I was just not being challenged with my roles, but I felt nothing. No nerves, no excitement, and it was difficult to perform this way. Nerves get my adrenaline going and I have energy to perform. Without it, dance just feels like a job, which it has never been for me. That's why I like my job, because it's fun and it DOESN'T feel like just a job. Even in rehearsals or class if I am nervous, it's not always a terrible feeling. A little drama makes life interesting!

okay now for 20 responses - I could adjust my rhythm but...

1. Nobody else adjusts for me
2. I am doing the correct counts
3. It's harder to change than to stay the same
4. My partner will also have to adjust with me
5. I might not dance as well if I am distracted by new counts
6. I don't want to!

okay is this an exercise to prove that there aren't that many good reasons why I should not adjust? Because I can't think of more than 6 reasons aside from the 3 examples you gave.

Today we had a performance and I was so annoyed. First, before the show a friend of mine couldn't find her costume. She kept saying somebody must have taken it, when I'm sure it just got left behind somehow at the studio. These things happen, and yes, it's annoying, but it's more annoying when you don't stop complaining about it. There are plenty of extra costumes, but she was fussing so much I finally just told her to take mine and I would take one of the spares. In the end she took the spare and I stuck with my costume, but there was a lot of unneeded stress in the room.

Then during first act my mood worsened. It went okay, but it's one of those really cheesy story ballets where the corps do a LOT of acting and not so much dancing, which isn't really my thing. I feel stupid and awkward walking around trying to act. On top of that, I got punched in the face, I'm assuming by one of the new guys who doesn't really know what he's doing, but it just really hurt and I still had to walk around the stage acting and smiling like an idiot. Then after, I couldn't find my costume, and it's not that big of a deal for me to just take one of the spares, even if it is a tutu (therefore more fitted than the first act costumes), but I wasted a lot of precious intermission time searching for the stupid thing. Then I went upstairs and my costume was in my dressing room. I suppose it was a nice thought that somebody got it for me, but since I didn't know it just caused trouble.

Grrr! It was so hard to not think about the fact that my nose felt like it was smashed into my face and my costume frustration for the rest of the show, but somehow I forced myself to change my mood and the rest of the show was even kind of fun. Now for some rest...


No comments: