Dear Sanna - better...

I did it! Today I found a friend struggling to learn the same pas de duex as me, so we both tried our best to remember it together. I was frustrated because the schedule was misprinted, so I didn't realize we had a full run of the ballet, and therefore the dreaded pas. Anyway my partner didn't actually come in to partner me for whatever reason, but it was okay because I was able to watch more and try my best to get the choreography. I was kind of relieved to not have to rehearse with him because I am so self-conscious and I really was unsure about the steps, but I am also hoping that partnering me isn't so incredibly awful that he is avoiding it. I swear I'm not reading too much into this on purpose, but I can't help wondering.

Anyway after the run I asked the other girl to try to go over the steps again with me, but we were really getting stuck, so together we went and asked the main girl doing the part, and she seemed happy to show us. We just asked her to tell us what was next at a specific part where we were stuck, but she continued to mark through the whole thing with us. It was really nice, and I feel better now. I can go over it with my friend, and if I really want I am less intimidated by the dancer doing the part. Whew.

Then at the end of the day, in my excitement at finishing early, I accidentally made the mistake of being the last person in the studio with the artistic director since I decided to practice a little. Well I ended up having to do the parts I was thrown into the other day with "more energy" and show the foutees I had been practicing. I'm sure it had a lot to do with the fact that my mom had come in to watch the end of rehearsal, but either way the director was satisfied in the end and told me to always do it that way and I am a good girl and a good dancer and very beautiful and if I lose a little more weight I will really be used. The director wants to use me. It's nice to hear I am liked, even if it is a bit of a back-handed compliment. Hopefully this favoratism lasts!

Janie