Sunday, December 23, 2007

Dear Sanna - Thanks for the tips!

I will most definitely take your advice and let you know how the massage goes!

Hmmmm hard. That's interesting because I use the word so often but it's hard to describe. There I go again. Right now, when I say ballet is hard, I'm talking about getting home at 11:00 p.m. having left over 12 hours earlier unable to find a position where my legs and toes don't throb, I immediately reach for comfort foods like cookies and chocolate, even though I'm not especially hungry or in need of such junk food, and struggle with myself over if/how much I am going to eat. Then I have to force myself to get in the shower and ice my feet. It's "hard" when I have to force myself to rest or take care of my body. I am often even tempted to skip taking my vitamins because I am too lazy to go get them and then swallow them down!

But ballet is also hard mentally. It upsets me to think of the possibility that all my hard work will not result in my dream of getting an offer here next year, or anywhere for that matter. It makes me sad that I am not cast in everything I hope to be cast in, or to not dance as well as I want to when I do get opportunities.

And of course the dancing itself is hard. I have to push myself and constantly think a million things in my head in order to dance my best and even attempt what is expected of me from my teachers. I sweat like crazy and shake and sometimes fall because it's hard! You can never let your guard down or get comfortable because there is always SOMETHING to fix. Nobody is perfect although we are striving for perfection so that's HARD!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how she feels, esp. with all the holiday performances and such going on.