Dear Sanna - mixed feelings

I suppose it's hard for me not to dwell on the fact that I could already have an apprenticeship, but I don't yet. And even if I do get an apprenticeship, then what? If I am struggling this much just for the apprenticeship, why would I be chosen above the other apprentices for a spot in the company next year? I'm just worried that I will fall into the rut just like so many dancers I see. They are offered these unpaid positions, only to have to find a new place to do the same thing the next year. I just get really stressed out.