Thursday, September 11, 2008

Dear Sanna - MORE ENERGY

it is so frustrating when i am told over and over to do things with more energy. as if i am not trying my best. as if i want it to look lifeless and if i only knew ballet should be energetic i could do that. WRONG!!!!!! first of all, i am trying to hard just to get the steps right and stay in line and be on the music and all the fundamentally important things. what is the point of energetically making myself stand out while i dance out of line and off the music? they won't give me a second to figure things out!

and what's worse, i try so hard to be energetic on top of all the other things i am worrying about, like literally think "more energy" in my head, and what's the outcome? they tell me more energy when i'm done. it's impossible! i don't understand if they just want to push me and make sure it's my best work or i'm really not good enough or what?! i look around me and i really do think there are other more important issues to deal with...

same with pointing my feet! i feel like if i pointed any harder my calves would burst, and they sit there screaming "point your feet! FEET FEET FEET!" and i look in the mirror and they look pointed! i don't get it.


but then i get really mad and just try to direct all that anger into more energetic movements, so hopefully that is helping. who knows. it does seem to give me more energy, i guess.

and then i just smile. like i said before. i practice smiling and the frustration turns to humor, and i notice my colleagues feel the same way and we laugh together.

the life of a dancer!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. esp. the energy!!!!!!!