Dear Sanna - think positive

I love my roommate. We get along really well, like enough of the same things, but have enough differences to make things interesting and share a box of chocolates ;) But we work together, live together, and usually go out together as well, so it is not surprising that we are beginning to push each other's buttons a little.

One thing I find is that my roommate likes to complain a lot whenever she speaks to her family on the phone. It's not that I try to listen or anything, but our main phone is in the living room and sometimes either one of us is watching tv or using the living room when the other is on the phone. But it's really hard to listen to her saying how crappy the company is and how she misses home and blah blah blah. She says she has no intentions of staying another year, and that upsets me, too, because I am afraid I will be kind of left alone here. We spend so much time together, and she is not the most flexible person when it comes to hanging out with other people, too, so I am definitely not getting as close to most of the other company members.

It's just really upsetting to hear since I am part of this company she is trashing, and I am much further from home than she is. AND she has tons of family here and has been here tons of times and apparently always wanted to live here, whereas I had never even visited before I moved here and have no family. Not that I am really unhappy. Of course I have my complaints, too, but I am generally having a good experience. But when I hear her complain and I know her situation is technically so much better and easier than mine, I can't help get angry or a little depressed! I know this isn't the best company ever, but I do think it's a good first job, and we are getting a lot of experience here.

I have to just keep reminding myself to get the most out of what I'm doing and not let others get me down. I know how I feel, and what my roommate is feeling shouldn't affect that. But I'm still not as happy when she's not. It's hard to stay cheerful or have fun when somebody's moping around you all the time. And it's not that I want to ditch her. I could just ignore her and do my own thing and go out with other people, but I don't want to do that. I just want her to stop moping around all the time! ...without me having to strain our relationship by pushing her buttons and trying to get her to stop complaining. Bleh it's tough! But I'll work on it.

Anyway as far as ballet is going, I'm not sure if I mentioned a really tough teacher who was here at the beginning, but she had to leave a few weeks ago to get things sorted out in her home country, but she is back! She has incredible technique and really knows how to rehearse the corps and make the ballets really polished. She even said good to me a few times (I think... there's not too much english in her vocabulary)! It's nice to know someone notices your progress, or even cares!

Janie