Although it was nice to see my friends and family for a bit while auditioning, the trek home was long and tiring and it is very nice to be home after I had to go straight to rehearsal from the airport!
I will get into the details of the auditions a little later, but for now I would like to share one thing I discovered about myself this week. I am finally used to being nervous! It's not that I don't get nervous anymore, because I definitely do. Like right before an especially hard step or that twang of fear when I make eye contact with somebody important, but at least I am used to this feeling now. I realized that at the beginning of this year, I was absolutely terrified for every company class. Now I am used to always dancing my absolute best, as if someone was critiquing my every move. I know my strengths and I am more able to show them off, rather than get embarrassed or flustered, and I am beginning to feel less anxious during class.
I am exhausted, so I will definitely tell you all about the auditions later this week.
Janie
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Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate how you define that place of comfort and familiarity, Janie. Consider giving it a new identity!
Excitement.
I do my absolute best.
I am ready.
Are you familiar with the term arousal? It is sensations of our physiology that tell you if you are prepared to perform at the just right state, or not. Sometimes one can be over aroused, or under-aroused. The interesting thing is that there is no absolute. Some performers like a more relaxed approach, which for you may be low energy and would prevent you from keeping your attention and focus, or make you tired.
You may prefer a moderate state of arousal to keep focus, the right muscle tension,etc.
Stress and anxiety can be disruptive.
This is a quick read of a phenomenon that requires a lot of awareness to fine tune.
Give it some thought!
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