Friday, March 7, 2008

Dear Sanna - humor, devotion, and creativity

Whew this is a long one! Read it in three parts if it makes you feel better...

part 1
Your "keep going" post, made me laugh, Sanna. It is so true. What am I going to do about? Of course I am not going to scream at the director. I'll even admit that I was almost relieved to not perform. We all know second cast was not prepared to go in! And the same thing you said popped into my own mind. I surely wouldn't be happier if I hadn't been asked to learn the piece at all. That would be "unfair", too. I can analyze this for hours and hours and go around in circles justifying both my frustration and the director's decision. But instead I'll just choose to be an optimist and be thankful for my opportunity to 1) watch great dancers, choreographers, musicians, etc 2) learn new choreography and get extra practice 3) burn more calories! (haha I'm kidding. kind of)

part 2
I have now finished this year's first official audition. Nothing. Not that I was really expecting much, but disappointing nonetheless. It's almost worse when those places I am not all that interested in are not-all-that-interested right back. Really we are not meant to be. It's okay. I don't especially want to live in this place, and the rep is entirely too contemporary for my liking/training. It's just frustrating to see others who I suspect are in a similar situation chosen above me. It's not like I would turn down a job! I'm just getting antsy, not exactly having any sort of back-up plan for next year. Honestly if they don't offer me anything here or anything else, I have no idea what I will do. I am not ready to give up.

part 3
Which brings me to your question - what do I bring to ballet. I thought I could best describe what I bring to ballet with three words that also conveniently organized this post for me: humor, devotion, and creativity.

I like to have fun with ballet. I think my smile can be contagious, and I can change the whole energy of a room or corps de ballet. Sometimes a little humorous, friendly competition can help us all maybe whip out that third pirouette. I don't know, but it seems like everyone's a little happier and dances a little better when we spread the cheer, so I like to be a little bit of a class clown sometimes.

Of course I am devoted to ballet. At this level, we all are (I hope). But I really think I put all my heart and soul into my dancing. I want all my energy to go into really perfecting a tendu, if we are working on tendus. I will, almost selfishly, do practically anything for ballet, or at least want to. It is probably way too high on my list of priorities, but I like it that way.

Finally, I think the best thing I offer to ballet is creativity. I love to find new ways of looking at the same steps dancers have done every day for years and years. It's fun to phrase the steps in a combination to make it unique from everyone else, and I love the freedom to choose which parts of a dance I want to highlight with big, bold movements, and which I want to do quickly or quietly or whatever I want. It's amazing how much we can say with our bodies, without saying a word.

thanks for your patience with my absence/extreme posting!


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